Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey
How can I NOT lose my son?!
I seperated from my ex-boyfriend of 5 years and moved out of his home in July of this year. When I moved out we made arrangements that our 3 year old son would stay with him until I was finished with school and stable enough to support our son. I moved up here in 2001 to be with him and left behind my whole family and have no support up here to help me with my son. About 2 weeks ago I received a knock on my door from a gentlemen who served me with a summons to family court because my ex is suing me for custody and child support. Now my ex is VERY well off financially compared to me, I am barely making ends meet and sometimes come up short for rent at the end of the month. I work 25 hrs a week and go to Nursing school on a F/T basis. I in no way, shape or form can hire an attorney and legal services wont help me claiming that my $300/Gross a week is TOO MUCH!
I left my son with his father because I felt it was the ''responsible'' thing to do for my son at the time. It is also the same reason why I am in school because I don't want to lose him and I want to better myself for him so he CAN live with me once I'm done. WHAT DO I DO? Do I just sit back and forfeit my parental rights because I'm trying to become a better person and broke?
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: How can I NOT lose my son?!
Read the summons and do what it says. File an answer, even if it is just a letter to the
court with the requested filing fee. If you cannot afford an attorney, go to Court and be your own attorney or at least "voice"
Re: How can I NOT lose my son?!
I am not sure that I understand your concern. You said that you "left [your] son with his father because [you] felt it was the "responsible" thing to do for [your] son at the time..." Isn't that still the responsible thing? If the father is taking care of him responsibly while you are trying to make a better life style for yourself and your son, why shouldn't that continue?
I assume that the point of the Motion is to establish formal custody/parenting time arrangements. In most cases, both parents would have joint legal custody with one parent being the parent of primary residence (PPR) that being where the child sleeps greater than 50% of the annual nights, and the other parent would be the parent of alternate residence (PAR), that being where the child sleeps less than 50% of the time. You do not lost your parental rights; you would just be setting up the ground rules.
As to child support, your income would be compared to the father's income and same would be put into the Child Support Guidelines, with some other information, to determine whether or not you should pay child support and if so, how much. Don't you feel that you should have some financial obligation to pay for your child's needs? Certainly it would only be in an amount that you could afford, based on your income. But the principal of both parents being required to financially support their children is basic in all states.
The bottom line is that if you cannot afford a lawyer, you should file an
Answer, in accordance with the instructions in the paperwork that you have received and go to Court on the appointed day and explain your postions to the Judge.
Keep in mind that this advice is based purely on the little bit of information that you have given to me. There certainly may be other factors that would change my opinion. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. Since it appears that you have not retained an attorney, you may want to contact a Family Law attorney (either me or someone else) to discuss your matter in more detail. Only then will you be able to rely on the advice. If you call me, mention Law Guru and your first one hour consultation will be free. Good luck! Rob Gleaner
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