Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

My ex kept our kids for 6 weeks and told me he would not return them until a parenting plan was in place. I filed for divorce immediately. He claims I am an alcoholic and smoke marihuana. I did a drug/ alcohol assessment and it was clean. I also took alcohol classes following and completed this. He is also claiming there is DV with my current boyfriend. He pressured my children into writing a statement and record a disagreement with my boyfriend. Can he use this and can the court make me do anything further regarding drugs/alcohol? I have done what was ordered however his allegations remain the same


Asked on 4/09/13, 3:01 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys

Thomas Mackin Law Office of Thomas A. Mackin

You need to consult a local family law attorney ASAP. Has CPS been contacted by father? Have you filed for a hearing for a temporary parenting plan yet? It is likely that your ex will continue to make those same allegations throughout the proceedings. A GAL (guardian ad litem) should be appointed to protect the best interest of the children. There are a lot of technicalities that need to be investigated to determine if the recording or your children's statement can be used. However, the burden is on you to prevent him from using them. Get help now!

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Answered on 4/09/13, 3:14 pm
Amir John Showrai The Pacific Law Firm, PLLC

I would add to what Mr. Mackin wrote above to say that if CPS been contacted, they will likely interview your children outside your presence and take the children's statements into consideration when writing their report, which will recite what the children say, assuming they are old enough to convey certain information. A guardian ad litem would also do the same thing. However, written statements that are solicited by the parents, which the children make to the Court, will never be considered, absent some very special circumstances. In fact, a parent or lawyer acting on behalf of a parent who submits declarations on behalf of the children in a proceeding between the parents is likely to get a very stern lecture from the Court.

That said, if these allegations are being made against you, your best bet is to seek local counsel as quickly as possible.

On the subject of domestic violence, you indicate that your soon-to-be ex claims that there is "DV with my current boyfriend." I don't know if that means that your soon-to-be ex claims that your current boyfriend abuses you, your children or all of you, but that is something that needs to get straightened out right away. If there is any abuse perpetrated by your boyfriend against you or your children you need to get a protection order against your boyfriend first thing, no questions asked. You need to get away from him while doing this and not tell him that you are doing this, especially if there is a possibility that he will get violent when hearing this news. Never be afraid the call 9-1-1 if you fear for your safety or that of your children. Understand that if you are seen to do nothing to protect yourself or your children from an abusive boyfriend, the Court will rightly be concerned about the environment in your home and your judgment when it comes to protecting your children, and that can easily lead to the Court removing the children on that basis alone.

On the other hand, if you are seen to be doing something about it, often the Court will take that into consideration and not necessarily remove the children from your home, although a guardian ad litem or someone acting on the children's behalf may keep regular tabs on your situation for a while. The key is to be proactive.

Another scenario you need to be prepared for is what happens if your boyfriend is completely innocent of any allegations of domestic violence, but the guardian ad litem or the Court think otherwise. In that case, as much as it may pain you to do, and as unfair as it may appear to be, you need to live separately from your boyfriend and not see him when you are with your children. That may go on indefinitely and could easily lead to the ending of your relationship with your boyfriend, but it should really be an easy choice when your children are on the other side of that choice. I know it's not fair, but it happens every day in family law and this is the only way to maintain your custody even if your boyfriend has done nothing wrong.

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Answered on 4/09/13, 11:12 pm


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