Legal Question in Family Law in Arizona
my boyfriend of two years has an ex wife who is still trying to run our life and our home. she will not follow the court visitation. She does what she want because she is the childrens mother. We want her to be a mother but what can we do to have our time with the kids and keep her out of our personal life?
2 Answers from Attorneys
You can and certainly should take steps to enforce his parenting rights. The longer you wait, the more difficult it could be.
We can certainly help you consider and then pursue your options.
One of our attorneys can explain the issues and procedures better in person. As you can imagine, there is too much to cover via email. We offer free 1/2 hour consultations, in which we can discuss your matter in detail.
Please call us directly to discuss the specifics of your matter, or contact my assistant Gloria or my paralegal Jennifer to schedule your free 1/2 hour consultation
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If the agreed upon Visitation Schedule is not being followed, there are some options. Father should be the one to take these steps. As his girlfriend, you can be helpful and supportive, but he needs to the one responsible for himself and his children. He can take these steps without an attorney. I recommend the Father pull out the written Decree of Dissolution and any other court orders in his case, read them over carefully to be sure what the parties actually agreed to do with the children.
A. Mediation services are available through your local Superior Court. Father can stop by the Clerk of Court's office and ask for any forms to request a "Post-Decree Medication." There may be a fee for the services, but if Father cannot afford the fees, he should ask the Clerk for the forms for Deferral of Court Fees. The Maricopa County Self Help website has sample forms, also, that can be printed off and just cross off "Maricopa" county and write in the name of your county. The Self Help website can be found at http://www.superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/SuperiorCourt/Self-ServiceCenter/
At Mediation, the parents (but not girlfriends or grandparents) sit down with an experienced Mediator to discuss how to make sure the children maintain a positive relationship with each parent. In this case, working out some of the glitches in visitation could be discussed. The Mediator can help in setting clear rules that are reasonable.
If the Divorce is recent, the parents would have attended a Parent Education Class, but maybe it's time for both to attend the class again. There will be a fee and part of a Saturday involved. One of the lessons is for the parents to learn is to make custody and visitation more like business transactions by reducing their emotional levels.
B. The other parent, your boyfriend, can request the court Enforce the Court Ordered Parenting Plan that would have been part of the Decree of Dissolution. There are sample forms at the Maricopa County Self Help website. There are instructions on the site, but the paperwork would need to be filed in your local Superior Court.
Post-divorce is always stressful, so I recommend that the children's Father take steps to reduce the stress. Be sure child support is timely and fully paid. (Mother does NOT have to account for how she spent the money.) Be on time for scheduled pick-ups and drop-offs. He should be sure to contact the children regularly by telephone while they are with mother, even if the phone call is only a few minutes long. The father can send a funny joke via e-mail to the children. Remember, Father can't control what Mother does or doesn't do, he only has control over his own life.
As for you as the girlfriend, usually the less contact you have with the ex-wife the better. You can be supportive without being physically present. That could be your contribution to a solution, not participate in phone calls or exchanges of the children.
I work in Cochise County, so I would not be able to represent you in court. If you prepare the court paperwork and want me to do a review for you, I charge $200/hour. You can contact me at (520) 507-2067 or by e-mail at [email protected].
Good Luck,