Legal Question in Family Law in Arizona

Re: Child Support Before Divorce

Yes, you are taking a risk by paying child support in cash. I would suggest getting something in writing from your wife confirming that she has received money from you since separation. You are correct that it would be a she said/he said situation. Keep receipts for everything, and keep track of the visitation schedule for both of you. The other issues are typically not relevant in a divorce proceedings (wife's boyfriends) because Arizona is a no fault divorce state. However, these issues are important and will be addressed if any affect the minor child.

Re: Child Support Before Divorce

1. I don't believe there will be a receipt issue. Since no divorce has been file, there is no legal obligation to support her. Nonetheless, for several reasons, it would be wise to begin keeping very accurate receipts.

2. I do not agree that Father's do not have rights in Arizona. It is my opinion that of the many factors upon which Arizona Judges base their decision, gender is rarely one of them.

3. I cannot gauge your chances without knowing a lot more.

I can answer your questions better by phone or in person. There is too much to cover via e'mail (and I am not the greatest typist). We offer free 1/2 hour consultations, in which we can discuss the matter in more detail. Please call me directly to discuss the specifics of your case, or contact my assistant Cathy to schedule a free 1/2 hour consultation. I look forward to talking with you.

/s/ Rich J. Peters, Attorney

JON C. DAKE & ASSOC., P.C.

1422 N. 2nd Street, Suite 100

Phoenix, Arizona 85004

602.254.7251

602.254-1229 (facsimile)

see our web page at www.familylawaz.com

Re: Child Support Before Divorce

You indicate that you have been separated for two years, that you and your wife are on relatively good terms, and that so far there haven't been many problems over child support and related costs. That's a good sign. Unfortunately, to finalize your divorce, you and your wife will have to go through a conversation about money before you can have the final divorce paperwork filed. Generally, the amount of child support you will have to pay depends on several factors, like how many children you have, how much income each parent has, how much time the child spends with each child, day care costs, and other factors. This information is gathered and then used to calculate appropriate child support together with a special "chart" developed by the Arizona court system.

It sounds like you two have an "informal" division of costs, and that you have contributed quite a bit toward the support of your child (even though in cash). If you've been fair and the child's needs have been covered, your wife may be content with the amount of support you've provided up until now, and she may not ask that you prove how much you've spent to date. If that's the case, the two of you may simply work to finalize an appropriate child support figure that she can count on from this point forward.

If, for some reason, your wife becomes dissatisfied and believes that you should "back-pay" her, you will be in something of a pickle. If you've actually spent money on day care, clothes, food, etc, you may want to try to make a list, take pictures or find other ways to help document the costs you've covered. And, of course, you should definitely start keeping receipts and using checks (if you don't have a checking account, use cashiers' checks) from this point forward.

Finally, Arizona does not "lean toward the mother." Arizona looks at the best interests of the child, and also pays attention to the research that suggests that children are healthiest when they have on-going contact with BOTH parents.

If you have been avoiding these tough conversations with your wife, you might want to consider using a mediator to help the two of you reach financial and parenting decisions. A family mediator creates a low-conflict, problem-solving environment, and can help you use the child support charts, figure out a parenting schedule that works for both of you, and resolve other issues that come up. The mediator can also help you draft the agreement to be filed with the courts as part of your divorce documentation. Mediators may make themselves available to resolve future issues as they arise, after the divorce. I am an attorney/mediator, and would be happy to talk to you more about mediation, or you might want to read more at my web site, www.yesmediation.com.