Legal Question in Civil Rights Law in California

As far as I know, the marriages in 2004 were voided, as that was the Mayor's initiative, rather than a state-approved process. In addition, as long as the Defense of Marriage Act remains federal law, without a federal court challenge by someone legally married, or repeal by congress, social security benefits are not accorded to same-sex spouses.

If you were married after the state supreme court issued its initial ruling enabling same-sex marriages, you remain legally married. I don't know whether the scenario suggested by Mr. Cohen does or does not apply to your situation. As it stands today, there is a federal court ruling that restrictions on same-sex marriage are unconstitutional, and if someone were to today claim SS disability survivor benefits, it is entirely possible that at the end of all appeals you would be found entitled to benefits, maybe years from now, and you could then receive a large check for retroactive benefits. Surely somewhere in N CA there is a gay rights organization that is best able to help you apply and to litigate these issues. You have nothing to lose by applying.