Legal Question in Criminal Law in California

Adult dating minor

I already saw the other questions involving an adult dating a minor, but I need a really picky answer.

I'm 18, and a girl who is really into me is 16. We're classmates at school. I know that as soon as I turned 18 sex is out of bounds [a friend got a restraining order... unimportant story], but I need to know exactly what the law is and where the line is. If the law prevents us from kissing, for example, it'd just be silly to start a relationship since I'll be going off to college before she is of age.

Given that background, here are several much more specific questions (Answers to the general one would still be appreciated).

If her mother doesn't like me, am I still allowed to spend time with her?

If her mother doesn't like her seeing me, am I still allowed to transport her in my car?

What exactly is ''attempt to gratify''?

Say we break up and she decides to say we did something inappropriate. How long after she alleges the event took place am I still liable?

For that matter, what happens if she tells her parents/the police that we had oral sex or something - how can that be proven/disproven?

Thanks for your time.


Asked on 11/30/05, 9:58 pm

3 Answers from Attorneys

Edward Hoffman Law Offices of Edward A. Hoffman

Re: Adult dating minor

First off, if you already suspect that this young lady might falsely accuse you of a crime then you should seriously re-think getting involved with her.

Her mother's wishes are not legally binding on you, unless and until she gets a restraining order. The mother can punish her daughter for disobeying her, but she can't punish you. There is no law against disobeying parents and the courts will seldom intervene in such intra-family disputes unless they become violent. There is likewise no law against participating in an act by which a minor disobeys her parents.

But there is that pesky restraining order issue to deal with. If the mother decides to seek such an order against you she will have to do far more than just say she doesn't want her daughter to date you. If she does get such an order, though, other people will be able to find out about it and it may impact other aspects of your life.

I know this answer is a bit nebulous. There are so many different ways that your situation could turn out that I can't offer any specifics.

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Answered on 11/30/05, 10:11 pm
Michael Stone Law Offices of Michael B. Stone Toll Free 1-855-USE-MIKE

Re: Adult dating minor

First of all, 18 year old guys falling in love with 16 year old gals is as old as time. So is parents who don't approve. My high school sweetheart was under 18, and I was over 18, and that didn't stop us - I am telling you this because the statute of limitations is up. Moreover, her parents gave me so much hell that we broke up. 25 years later, we met again, and she is now my wife, I have been married to her for 5 years now. So there is nothing new in your situation. What's different now is that we live in a whole new world of sex laws, restraining orders and legal madness. If a woman were to accuse you of underage sex, hitting her, raping her, touching her, you name it, the police and courts in California will totally believe her and your life will be miserable at best. So it is imperative that if you have even a hint that she might be unstable, crazy, violent, might ever falsely accuse you, or her mother is unstable or crazy (the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree), run. Run like hell.

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Answered on 12/01/05, 2:50 am
Philip Iadevaia Law Offices of Philip A. Iadevaia

Re: Adult dating minor

There is nothing you can do to defend accusations by a minor girl of sexual advances, assault or most other physical contact allegations. The People will believe the minor girl and you will be the devil. I can't say don't get involved with her, and even your best judgment may be useless. But do this: respect the parents' wishes; don't sneak around; try a chaperone - a friend or other adult - to accompany you on your dates. Sounds old-fashioned, but you need the protection of a disinterested third party to witness that no foul play occurs. Good Luck.

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Answered on 12/01/05, 1:41 pm


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