Legal Question in Family Law in California

I have 2 daughters 7 and 3 years old. we live in California, L.A. County.... This Christmas my ex (childrens mother) is "letting" have my kids for the day. We are in court for custody and visitation which I started, but there is no order to date. The children live with her so she is the custodial parent. My ex and I were never married. She is stating that the kids can be with me for the day, but if my current wife is around or I visit my wifes family with the kids, shell come and take them from me or call the cops.. Is this legal? what are my rights here? am I breaking a law if I take them to her families Christmas while theyre with me? Does she have the right without a court order to say they cant be around her? She doesnt care if theyre with me but her hatred for "The other woman" is creating a huge problem.. Please help

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