Legal Question in Family Law in California

I have a 5 month old baby, who is breast fed and refuses to take a bottle. She is very strong willed. My baby has really bad separation anxiety. She refuses to go to anyone and will "freak out" if she does not see me in the room with her. Even if I am in the same room and someone else is holding her, she will cry and fuss until she is in my arms. Now, with that said, I would like to know what my chances are in getting limited visitations until she is out of this phase.

Court will most likely have me drop her off with her dad, and she will scream her lungs out until she exhausts herself to sleep (this has happened once when her father refused to give her to me so I could soothe her because he thought he was "bonding" with her). She will use all of her might and take deep breaths to scream. She will come back to me and hold on to me very tightly.

Now, the reason I am asking for limited visitations, and visitations held at my place, with me there, is because of the separation anxiety. I have read studies upon studies about the negative effects of not making my child feel secure when she is not. Babies cry because that's their way of communication to us. As a mother, I am to find out what is wrong and fix it so that she feels secure and stops crying. The negative effects of not tending to my child when she is not feeling secure will hurt her in the long run. So, I am not asking this because I am trying to keep my child from her father. I understand very well that she needs to bond with him. But I am asking this for the long term effects it can have on her. I just want to know before any court is filed. And I would also like to know if I can have a lawyer appear for me because I can't leave my daughter for 10 minutes without her crying for me.


Asked on 5/02/13, 1:14 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

You are asking a child psychology expert opinion from people who have no qualifications to answer it. I can tell you that if you go to court, the judge will either listen to the experts you and the father hire and decide who to believe, or will listen to the Family Court Services social workers if you don't hire experts. As a 3-time father, however, I can tell you that a 5 month old baby that has that severe separation issues is not normal, and considering that you seem to have had essentially sole custody the entire time, the court is going to start from the presumption that either you are part of the problem or the child needs serious professional treatment that you are not obtaining for her. So rather than trolling the internet, my recommendation is that you obtain professional child and developmental psychologist assistance with your situation.

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Answered on 5/02/13, 9:55 am


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