Legal Question in Family Law in California

Well, on the legal side of things, you have to be proactive in getting your daughter over to see you. Does the order require your ex to deliver her? If not, go get her. If she refuses to go with you and the ex harbors her, or if the ex is required to deliver her and the ex does not, the ex is in contempt of court. Your remedy is filing an Order to Show Cause why she should not be held in contempt and punished. I have to tell you, though, if your daughter is really refusing to go visit you, you have much more relevant problems than the legalities. Your ex should be supporting your relationship with your daughter. Your daughter should want to see her dad. If that is not happening the family dynamic is broken far more than court orders can mend. Just because your divorce is over doesn't mean your family is. If your ex will not cooperate in getting family counseling, go in and ask for an order for that as a condition of not being held in contempt.

Mr. McCormick is right. I will assume that the daughter is saying she doesn't want to visit, not that mom is stating that she is refusing to follow the order. Calling the police is not usually helpful when the child is that age - often they tell people it is a civil matter and they will not force a child to go with you - and I have seen it spiral down from there.

Your ex may not be intentionally interfering. When kids hit teen years, their life revolves more around their friends than their family. Your ex may be just not wanting to fight with her to take time off from her friends to visit you. Teenagers can be highly exhausting if they don't want to cooperate.

Counseling is going to be the best way to determine who or what is influencing your daughter, and resolving it in a way that she will willingly go along with. Forcing it can be highly unpleasant if your daughter doesn't want to be there. You should perhaps sit down with your daughter and discuss her reasons, and then determine if you really feel that this is being ran by your ex. Also be aware that children often tell each parent what they want to hear, so as not to hurt anyone. It can result in them saying the opposite to each parent, and much confusion and unnecessary finger pointing.

I shy away from contempt orders, except in extreme cases, only because clients don't usually end up with what they wanted. The ex doesn't go to jail, and often they don't even lose time. Also, I have seen forced visitations end up in all types of accusations made by the teenager that can be a nightmare.

I would do as Mr. McCormick suggests. Try to get some family counseling, and this would include the ex. Expensive (so are attorneys), unpleasant, and I know new spouses sometimes feel threatened by it, but it may be a necessary evil to get the result you want.