Legal Question in Family Law in California
12 Year Old Makes Visitaion Decisions?! Who's the Adult?
The custody situation is that I have ''reasonable visitation''-with no mention of any particulars. The mother has always witheld my daughter @ times, at her whim, only taking me to court for $ and never to define ''reasonable visitaion.'' This ''reasonable visitation'' as set forth by the mother is every other weekend/trade the holidays. Sometimes my time is bumped around for whatever, but nothing I can do, right? NOW my recently turned 12 year old has ''informed'' me that she will no longer be available for me to pick her up on Fridays for the every other weekend I get to see her. Instead, on Saturday mornings, I am to drive the hour drive to her mothers house to pick her up and entertain her until she's bored. Then take her back to her mother and promptly vanish for 2 weeks. I am outraged-the mother is completely backing ''her decision'' Neither can give me any real reason for this and circumstances haven't changed at all. My gut tells me she wants to see the boy she likes who's only @ FRIDAY nite & SUNDAY youth groups. The mother and she say @ 12 she has all the say, but my girlfriend says 12 is the age judges will consider preferences-but ultimately go ''best interests''. who's right & what do I do? nothing? go on SATURDAY?! HELP!
3 Answers from Attorneys
Re: 12 Year Old Makes Visitaion Decisions?! Who's the Adult?
Perhaps I am too old-fashioned, but liking a member of the opposite sex at 12 years of age is a grossly inappropriate reason for not visiting with one's parent. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that girlfriend/boyfriend at 12 years of age is inappropriate. Perhaps speaking with the child ( and yes, your daughter is a child!) and the child's mother would be helpful.
If you can't resolve the matter amicably, go to court and seek an order outlining specfic days and times for visitation.
Regards,
Damian Nolan
Re: 12 Year Old Makes Visitaion Decisions?! Who's the Adult?
It is not her responsibility to increase your visitation. That is your responsibility. You need to take the charge of your relationship with your child and go to court to get more visitation and time with your daughter. As a part of the increased contact you need to work with her to make the time pleasant and productive. Let her help you plan the activities, and then get her to her activities that are appropriate for her.
Reply: 12 Year Old Makes Visitaion Decisions?! Who's the Adult?
In a general sense, you need to modify your custody\visitation orders to give you a specific schedule, sometimes referred to as a "Freeman Order". You can find a sample on my web site.
For a specific opinion regarding your individual circumstances, I suggest that you consult with an experienced family law lawyer. Experience is not expensive, it's priceless!
You will find some valuable information on various California family law issues by visiting my web site.
Good luck to you!
Brian Levy, Esq.
www.calattorney.com
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