Legal Question in Family Law in California

Under the United States Constitution and the California Constitution you have a right to parent your child, and your child has the right to be parented by you. You are doing the right thing by not "mud-slinging" if "mudslinging" means making up and bringing false accusations. The preference of the law with placing a child in custody is that there is a presumption the child belongs with his parents. Therefore the court will look to place custody with you automatically. The standard for placing a child with another party, not the parent, (for guardianship) is that the court may do this only if it makes a finding that custody with the parent is detrimental to the child. This is the reason for the mudslinging. The GGmother has no case unless she can show you are detrimental to your own child. If she shows she is "just as good a choice as the mother" for custody, she loses. It is very hard to show that a mother is detrimental for her own child. Therefore a proponent for Guardianship will have to work overtime to show this, and will come up with terrible accusation, often unfounded, hoping you will just go away or give up. Your job is to keep denying things that aren't true, be fairly honest about the things that are true that can be proven (not just accused), and above all keep telling and reaffirming your best assets. When you tell the court anything, always say why it is better for the child, or not better for the child; this shows you are focused on what is best for him. Keep showing your good things; you are stable; you are his real mother that loves him; you've missed him terribly but leaving him with a willing relative as hard as it was, was best FOR HIM at the time; he has a little brother or sister now; you want him back now because it's in his best interests; it is in fact his best interests because . . . Then give the court a long list with lots of documentary evidence thus:

"The schools where I live are the best because . . ." There is one such school right near my home. I visited the school, the teachers that would be his teachers, talked to the principal and they are excited about having him. There is a park and a playground right here by my house" He has other family here. We have a cub scout den I want him to see, to find if he likes it; we have a bike path we can ride together; I've been building a wardrobe for him; he'll have his own room; my _____ will help out; the day care is the best." Then: Question the GGMother's health, whether she has had any risks, forgetfulness, heart attacks, instability, can she walk good enough?; can she play on the trampoline with him?; can she go on bike rides with him?; play frisbee with him?; help him learn to play ball for little league or pop warner?; whether the child is comfortable with her; whether he is thriving; introduce facts to show that the GGmother hates you (if she does), that she is so willing to make up false accusation against you, and you are the child's mother; this is a psychological detriment to a child to berate or bad talk his own mother. It is detrimental to place the child with a relative who dislikes or hates the mother; be careful with this to show that even though she does this to you, you still appreciate what she has given to your child in your absence. We have a saying in law: "If you are going down; go down kicking and screaming." If it looks like it's not going your way, figure out whether you can get something out of it, then go after that thing. Make sure you get visits, and as much as you can get. At 800 miles you'll have to get longer visits less often.

Keep in mind you do not have the burden. Don't let it bother you that the court gave a temporary guardianship. Be especially prepared to dispute or explain the facts that have been advanced in support of this temporary guardianship. These applications are rarely denied when the proposed guardian is willing to say bad things that weigh on the child's safety. But at the hearing these matters have to be supported by objective facts and the facts have to be supported by real evidence, "no more he said she said." If the petition is supported by a factual declaration then you should file a declaration in opposition to the petition. Bring witnesses to trial, such as neighbors who have seen how you raise your three year old. These are just a few ideas. Best Regards!