Legal Question in Family Law in California

Since you say you are ready to be an adult, I will write this as I would to any adult. There are many people, including myself, who grew up in very bad situations at home. That is not as unusual as people may lead you to think. Some just hide it better than others. You cannot blame your father for your choices. That is the first step to becoming an adult. You are your own responsibility, so own up to your actions.

I am glad you are finishing school and planning for college - that is really awesome! Staying at home and living with rules that are likely meant to help you make good choices (not just intended to control you for control's sake) may benefit you. I say this only because I am not sure what your plan is, but you may be allowing your anger at dad to cloud your ability to make a good decision about your future. What I mean is, what is your plan if you leave dad? Live on your own with the boyfriend? There are several reasons this would be a VERY BAD choice:

1. Being 17, it will be hard to get a decent job. At 17, regardless of how mature you are, you likely lack the work experience you would need to take care of yourself on your own. It isn't likely you would be able to land a job that would pay enough to cover your expenses. Do some actual research and find out what you would likely pay for rent, food, car insurance, gas, utilities, cell phone, clothes, gas, etc... and see how much per hour you need to make for the number of hours you are able to work and attend school at the same time (without grades suffering).

2. Moving in with boyfriend is a really horrible idea if you are planning to attend college. Unplanned pregnancies are much more likely if you two are living together, right? I don't think I have to explain that any further to you! That would ruin your college plans, because now you have to work more to afford things for the baby AND yourself. Most young men cannot financially swing taking care of a family without help from the spouse.

3. If you become pregnant by the boyfriend (probably the reason dad is trying to "control" you), you are not likely to remain in a relationship with this boyfriend, so being forced to continue to deal long term because of a baby or because you cannot afford to leave is not going to be enjoyable. The divorce rate is over 50%, and marrying young doesn't help.

Think of it this way: Do you think differently than you did when you were 5? Of course! How about the guy you had a crush on in kindergarten - you still have a crush on him, or do you think "what was I thinking?"

The "changing ideas" curve is pretty steep for a long time. I don't think most people are ready for marriage or kids until they are 27 or 28 years old. It has nothing to do with maturity level, and I don't think there are shortcuts. Finish school, start a career, and take care of yourself for a while. Even if you don't change your mind, he could change his, and there is nothing you can do about that. Having a child now knowing that you are likely to have to force him or her to live in two separate households due to custody and visitation orders is very unfair to a child, not to mention selfish and not very mature. Accidents happen, but there is no sense increasing the odds by living with the boyfriend.

I know I don't know you, but I do have an interest in seeing any young person reach their full potential. Get a good plan going and stick to it. If you have family members that offer a more peaceful situation for you, talk to dad about it. If he knows you will be supervised, he may be ok with it. Worse case, you have to wait until you are 18. Don't let being upset about that ruin your plans for the future. You can do this! I wish you the best of luck.