Legal Question in Family Law in California

You will not like my answer even though it creates the easiest solution to your situation. Get married. Then, if one parent does not act properly there is the court to perhaps make a fairer solution. If you really love each other, a marriage contract is not going to change anything except protect the future child. If he refuses, because he is afraid of the economic consequences [alimony if divorce], then you know his love for you is not absolute. You can also predict that when the expenses of raising a child also come, you will have fights over how much it costs. You know that he knocked one woman up and left her; does he pay her any "alimony", child support? Often their is a reason the mother will not allow the father to be involved with their children.

After you get over the slight anger you feel from my interferring in your private business, go speak to some people you trust and see what they think. Do not bring a child into the world where there is a good chance they will end up with only one parent.

Mr. Shers is dead wrong about marriage. It doesn't matter in the slightest if you get married or not. Unmarried parents of a child are subject to the exact same laws and have the exact same rights and responsibilities as parents who marry and then divorce. Custody and support decision by the courts are subject to exactly the same rules and laws in either case.

He is quite correct, however, about your boyfriend for that very reason. The mother of his other children has no right or power to keep him out of their lives. He has every right to custodial time, and every obligation to pay support, unless he has enough custodial time and she earns enough more than he does. So if he is not in his other childrens lives, something is very fishy.

Lastly, the reason you cannot find any agreements like you want is because they are utterly unenforceable if either parent decides to repudiate them and go into court for a custody determination.

Sorry for all the gloom and doom, but life is just messy, and relationships and parenting are some of the messiest parts of life. All you really can do, is write down now, while everything is good, what you hope and wish for your child(ren) in case you split up. Then hope reading back over it if things go bad, will help remind both of you that once you have a child, you never stop having a relationship with the other parent. All you can do is change it from parents together to parents apart. Focus on your child, and being the best parents you can be.

Wow, George, I was going to say pretty much the same things. Not being old fashioned or religious, I would recommend that you not have a child together until you are at least sure enough about being together to get married. Being married doesn't guarantee you two will stay together, but raising a child with someone you no longer want to be with is a tense situation at best, and makes attorneys alot of money! I seriously doubt anything you two agreed to now would be agreeable at the end. People change, and you may not like the type of father he shows himself to be. It also causes alot of pain for the child when the parents split, because the majority of the time, they don't want it. At least if you wait until you are as sure as you can be, you can deal with your child's pain without feeling guilty that you didn't try to make things as stable for him/her as possible. I am a little skeptical as to how much effort he has put into being in his already existing child's life (has he hired an attorney?), and from what you say, he doesn't seem to be too keen to have a baby with you. I don't want to be harsh, but just want to prevent you from making a mistake. If you love him, be happy with that and see where the relationship goes. He may simply be afraid to tell you that he doesn't want a child because he wants to keep you happy. Don't have a baby with him until he is excited about being a dad, because there is nothing worse than dragging a daddy into being involved with his child. I know there are many parents who use the line that they are being kept from their child, when it really is their choice.

The simple answer to your question is that there is no form online. You would have to draft the agreement, or have an attorney draft it for you. The legality of the agreement is going to depend on what is in the agreement. Some things are not enforceable, like a waiver of child support.