Legal Question in Family Law in California

I broke up with my fiance last Thursday night and we agreed that he'd be leaving the home (we're both on the lease). I was willing to give him up to June 11th to be out of the house. However, that evening, it was revealed to me that he had started another relationship about a month prior. As I was very upset, I left the house for the weekend, telling him to get out as quickly as possible.

I texted him on Sunday night that I wanted him out by June 1. I also said I wanted to come by and pick up a few things and please be gone for a hour. He then lashed out and sent 40 text messages (which my friend read and are still on my phone), each message increasing in intensity. They have been described as abuse, vindictive and as my friend told me, "You better not go over there tonight." I then ceased any contact with him.

The next day, I called for a police escort. Two officers and one of my friends went to the house so I could retrieve some items. He was highly agitated and tried to engage with me as I entered the house (he was outside being watched by one officer). On several occasions, he tried to come into the house but was told not to and didn't. He complained about an illegal search. He wanted a complete list of what I was taking out of the house. And lastly, he refused to give me my laptop (which he evidently hacked into, deleting emails, documents and copying my SSN and other things). Eventually, I was told to put the stuff in my car and he went in with the other officer and I got my laptop.

His behavior scared and surprised me. The officer I spoke to said I should go to the Ventura County Sheriffs and start the eviction process the next day (Tuesday, May 31). It was also suggested that I look into getting a restraining order.

As we all left, he was told to not contact me via email, text, in person, etc. He yelled back that he didn't want me to contact him or his family or friends (he is apparently afraid I'll defame him in some way).

I called my landlord and she said SHE would be the one to order an eviction. However, it would have to be a 30 day notice that would include both of us. THEN she learned that I had paid for the entire year (through Dec 31, 2011) and therefore she would not be able to post an eviction. She suggested I contact you to see what to do next.

In the meantime, I sent him an email at 6am today (Wed, June 1) at the suggestion of my therapist to say "I want us to end this relationship with dignity" and give him up to Friday, June 3 at 2pm to be out of the house. He could use the garage to store things and then, at a mutually agreeable time, he could pick up the rest. If he is not out by Friday at 2pm, or if he again becomes aggressive in his response, I will file the restraining order.

My problem is I don't know what my legal rights are be in my own home (which I can't do right now if he's there because of my safety), or what I can do to get him to leave legally. My landlord said something about a "force out" if I got the restraining order, but I haven't had a chance to research that.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!


Asked on 6/01/11, 7:11 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

You need to get a restraining order and order for occupancy of the premises. You definitely should retain an attorney if you can afford one. If not, contact the family law (any domestic relations matter comes under family law) self help center closest to you: http://www.ventura.courts.ca.gov/venturaMasterFrames4.htm

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Answered on 6/01/11, 11:28 am


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