Legal Question in Family Law in California

My child's mother has full custody, and i filed papers to modify that which stated neither parent can take the child outside the state of California. After I had her served with paper work she moved to Tennessee and did not show up to mediation or court. The judge rescheduled mediation and court and said the child's mother only has to appear by phone. I lost custody because I was late to court a year ago. Is this fair? Should i get a lawyer? Another thing, the judge said I have to serve her the papers again, but she is in Tennessee and I have no address, and no phone number. How do I find out where she lives if none of her family will tell me?

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