Legal Question in Family Law in California
My ex and I have court orders giving us each 50/50 custody of our 14 year old daughter in San Diego County. However, every single visit I have with my daughter her mother is overly involved via phone calls and e-mails and its causing my daughter and I�s relationship a lot of strife. The result is that this week my daughter refused to come for our regular weekly visit. This is all based on me wanting to be a parent and giving my daughter boundaries, house chores, or simple house rules. Since her mother does not agree with my parenting style she undermined me greatly and this time picked her up from school on my Friday transition day. Her mother has since filed a hearing asking for full physical and legal custody and for child support. I am petrified that the judge will go with what my daughter wants and I will lose my time with her... How can I show the court that her mother is severely manipulating the relationship, brainwashing my daughter, and interfering in my weekly visits? Will they listen to my 14 year old over me? And since my daughter told me today she does not want to come anymore until the court hearing in January, should I leave it alone and wait it out or should I demand that she remain with me 50% of the time even up until the hearing date? HELP!!
2 Answers from Attorneys
It isn't easy to get away from 50/50 custody, but your ex is violating the Court order that is currently standing by picking her up before the judge signs a new order. If it is such a dire situation, she should have filed an ex parte, but she didn't. You could see if the police will help enforce the order. If not, at least have them make an informational report, if they refuse to help any other way. Your daughter is 14, and she doesn't get to decide who she stays with - the Judge will decide what is in her best interests. It sounds as if she is being a typical teenager (not wanting rules), and your ex is going to ruin her, if what you say is true. It may be appropriate for your daughter to have more time with you, if you provide more structure.
The Judge will take your daughter's wishes into consideration, but the Judge has the final say. I would not go unarmed. You should retain an attorney, but at least take advantage of a free consultation to discuss your case fully and make a determination of the best course of action for your circumstances.
Your ex has handed you a great advantage by interfering with the court order before getting it modified. To take proper advantage of this, however, you need to move quickly and effectively, and that means hiring an attorney. Do it NOW.
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