Legal Question in Family Law in California

You and your daughter should consult with a local attorney to review all the facts and give you specific advice about your options.

You cannot do what you are trying to do. There is no way to force the courts to follow a decision about custody of your kids when you die, before you die. The courts will make a guardianship decision once you are dead or incapacitated and not before, unless you want to surrender custody now. You can put a nomination in a will, but that is advisory only.