Legal Question in Family Law in California

I want get a divorce but co-dependant & afraid to start the process

I have living a life for the past 5 or 6 years of dreaming and plotting to leave. I have gone to counseling and my counselor agrees but I am too afraid (chicken) to start the process. I feel weak and feel that everyone in the legal community will believe his threats of lies because he is sooo convincing. He knows how to lie and argue a point and I firmly believe that no attorney could stand up to him. I really do not have any money because that is one of the forms of abuse he does to me, is to keep me/us in debt so that I never have a cash flow to leave. He knows I want to. We have thre childen, 16, 15, 10 and I am sure they see it but are also afraid to side with me because of his violent uproars. Like me, they all rather keep quiet and live day by day. I think he is on drugs but cannot prove it. He is a professional, as I am, and this is something NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW. What do you suggest? It seems easier to stay.


Asked on 4/22/03, 12:43 am

2 Answers from Attorneys
Matthew Kremer Law Offices of Matthew M. Kremer

Re: I want get a divorce but co-dependant & afraid to start the process

The previous response was a good one. You could also seek an ex parte removal order to have him taken out of the house and kept 100 yards away from home, work, school and car.

I assumed you are seeing a therapist. If that is not the case, see one. If that is the case, maybe you need a different one.

Your life is in your own hands. Consider where you want to be five years from now: in an abusive and unhappy relationship or with the chance for a happier life?

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Answered on 4/22/03, 12:28 pm
Lyle Johnson Bedi and Johnson Attorneys at Law

Re: I want get a divorce but co-dependant & afraid to start the process

Contact a local family counselor and get in contact with a domestic violence shelter. Then take the children and go to the shelter. Then file for a temporary restraining order, there is no charge to file the request for a restraining order. In addition to the restraining order request an order for support and attorney fees.

You stated that you are a professional. If you are working move just before payday and keep that money to help you pay for the move.

If there is physical abuse report that to the police. If there is physical evidence of abuse the police will arrest him and obtain a temporary restraining order to keep him away from you.

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Answered on 4/22/03, 2:13 am


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