Legal Question in Family Law in California

The restraining order isn't relevant. You need to file a motion to amend your petition to seek dissolution. You can do this by way of OSC, but I don't think that is necessary given the information you have presented.

You may want to talk to the family law facilitator at your local courthouse for help in doing this. What the court is basically telling you is that you need permission called "leave" from the trial court to amend your petition after the other party has responded.

No OSC or motion should be required. Family Code 2321(b) only requires notice of the amendment be given (by personal service). Once this is done the amended Petition should be accepted for filing.

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"If the other party has appeared in the proceeding, notice of the amendment shall be given to the other party in the manner provided by rules adopted by the Judicial Council." (Fam. Code, sect. 2321, subd. (b).)

The rules adopted by the Judicial Council are the California Rules of Court. They provide, in Family Law proceedings that, "Amendments to pleadings, amended pleadings, and supplemental pleadings may be served and filed in conformity with the provisions of law applicable to such matters in civil actions generally..." (CRC, rule 5.108 subd. (b).)

The provisions of law applicable to such matters in civil actions is that you must seek leave of court to file an amended pleading after a party has filed a responsive pleading.

But hey, maybe you can go berate the court staff, who are following the rules, and tell them that Mr. White said you didn't need leave, and get them to back down with "magic" words.