Legal Question in Family Law in California

Me and my ex husband have a custody/child support order that involves a restraining order that his wife got and added him to.We went to court and the judge ordered him and I to exchange job contacts and a few other things for our oldest daughter.The judge reviewed the restraining order and said there are no modifications on it for me to even be able to contact him regarding our children.She suggested to him he go and modify it so we are able to co-parent. He has informed a few of my family members that he will not go and make any modifications to the R.O. My question is how do I go about getting him the information to him that is court ordered,without him and his wife trynna VIOLATE me and have me arrested??

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