Legal Question in Family Law in California
My husband is looking into returning to court for more custody of his children on the basis that their mother is detrimental to their moral growth. Their oldest daughter is 7 and has had reoccurring issues with lying. While it is understandable that young children tell small fibs on occasion, the scale of the lies and poor behavior is larger when she is under custody of her mother. She has been caught tricking her mother into taking her to the emergency room for "dizziness". At the end of the night, I was able to talk to the daughter and found that she had made it up. Also, a recent event where she had lied to her mother's therapist and cause a CPS investigation against me for physical abuse. Spanking is not an acceptable form of punishment in our home. We only discipline our children with rewards, having privileges removed, and time outs. She has also been caught on few occasions lying to the teachers at school about homework and minor behavior issues with her friends. My husband and I found that the mother is constantly encouraging the 7 yr old to lie about small concerns because a person "will get mad".
His second concern is that the mother does not act in the best interest of the children in regards to their learning. We pay for their 4 yr old to attend preschool 5 days a week. Out of those 5 days the mother takes her 3 days a week during her time with the children and is also inconsistent with bringing her.
We've also had to take the mother to court a year ago in request that the father be allowed to choose the schooling for their 7 year old. The mother enrolled the daughter into a school in a high crime neighborhood even after he requested that she attend a school in our area due to the environment. The parents were able to reach an agreement at mediation. Although the custody order did not change to state that the father has full rights to choose schooling, the order now state that the school for their 7 yr old is to be the one which he asked for his daughter to attend.
We feel that we have made large attempt to work with the mother, but find that mediation will no longer work. My husband feels that the mother is a negative influence on their daughters' growth. Especially in their moral and learning.
1 Answer from Attorneys
The first step is to get the child in to a therapist to determine the root of the lying problem. It may be other than the mother's advice or it could be as a result of it. Counseling would help to understand the issue and if it does relate solely to mother's advice then the counselor can help her work through and correct the problem. You should have a consultation with a family law/child custody attorney who can go over your current child sharing schedule and advise you whether there is a reasonable chance that you will increase your time with the child by going to court. Certainly there are issues with the child. While the mother's advice may work with a good portion of society, a child of 7 years is not capable of understanding the implications or discerning how to handle such advice. Mother seems to lack a capacity to understand and protect the child. Good Luck, Pat McCrary
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