Legal Question in Family Law in California

My husband has sole physical custody of our daughters, CPS have

helped him get it because I tried to commit suicide and they think

I am a bad parent. My husband and I aren't divorced yet but

he has lied about me and tainted people's opinion of me. He doesn't want

me back in the house and is trying very, very hard to never allow me home

again. He is and always has been very strict, controlling and verbally abusive.

He ignores me and is just putting up with me. The thing is, the girls and I

are exceptionally close and are slowly dying at our separation. I stupidly have

told the girls in the past when they go to therapy which is court ordered by CPS

never to say a bad word against their father knowing if they did they might be put

back into foster care. I thought a bad father is better than no father at all and

having them home is so much better than having them live in foster homes.

I am well now and am seeing a Psychiatrist who thinks at this early stage in my

consultations that I am not suffering from a mental illness and he doesn't see any

reason why I shouldn't be living at home with the girls.

My husband really does exaggerate the truth and often will tell only half the truth omitting

important details so I look bad and he looks good, and in addition he has outright lied about

me and is blind to the fact that the girls are desperate to be with me and live with me, they

hate their father with all their little hearts and the girls and I are devastated at our forced separation.

They have been verbally abused by my husband and are very depressed at living with him.

What age can they ask for emancipation from him? They really want to live with me and I don't

think men should be raising daughters alone....my husband has also had CPS tape our phone

conversations and my visits with them are one hour a week under supervision.

My husband has also convinced every one at CPS that I am angry and abusive to him and it has

worked. I am not lying when I tell you most of what he has said about me is a lie and that I

had no idea until recently that he emails my therapist, the girls therapist and CPS to tell them

every single thing about me even though most of it is only half the truth, he leaves out vital

details which will make all the difference in how I am perceived and him too.

I am seen as a threat to their safety because I tried to commit suicide over 13 months ago,

my husband now hates me and is working behind my back to stop me coming home. My eldest

daughter told me that her father has told her therapist I am bipolar ( I have no such diagnosis)

and that he also told her some things about me which were not really true, a part of it was but

as I said, he left out vital information making the situation very plausible and not making me

look like the angry, violent woman he is trying to paint me as. My daughter said her therapist

explained to her what my husband said and then said to my daughter "You know you're mom's

bipolar, right?"

So, I would just like to know what happens from here? Can my daughters tell their father is verbally

abusive and controlling in non loving way and get to live with me or if they do start talking and telling

the truth will the go back into foster care because I think they might, they have a lot of ugly things

to say about him. What are my chances of getting custody back from him?


Asked on 5/24/12, 11:07 am

2 Answer from Attorneys

Rhonda Ellifritz Law Offices of Rhonda Ellifritz

I would suggest a new therapist that will help you focus on yourself and accepting responsibility for what you have done. Focusing on him and saying how awful he is does nothing to show anyone what you have learned, how things are different from when you attempted suicide, what you are doing to move on and up. How is the court assured the girls will be safe with you if you are still a victim? Why would you want to go back if he is so bad? Whatever may have happened, you need to become a survivor, not stay stuck in victim mode. You need to do that for your daughters.

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Answered on 5/24/12, 1:13 pm


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