Legal Question in Family Law in California

Hello. IMy ex husband and I live in California. We share joint legal and physical custody (50/50) of our 6 year old son. I have full physical custody of my 14 year old son from another relationship. My ex husband is trying to get sole legal and physical custody of our 6 year old son on the grounds that I smoke marajuna and my 14 year old son also smoke marajuna in the house and is getting in a lot of trouble (he recently stole my car, he sold drugs at his school and is generally acting out). My ex husband is saying our 6 year old son is in danger in my home because of drugs an, my irrational unstable behavior and his older brother's drug use and acting out. He also told the court that I have harassed him (I sent emails threatening to take our 6 year old son out of extracurricular classes and activities that he signed him up for) and I threatened to tell his boss bad things about him (both of these were empty threats and I did not carry any of them out) I was mad at him which is why I made the threats. My ex also got a co-parenting therapist we were seeing to write that I have displayed reckless and irrational behavior (but she allso called him on his bad behavior - he often criticizes me and is very controlling and he belittles and devalues me) Can he get sole legal and physical custody of our son because of this? Does our 6 year old son have any say in this matter at all? My ex is also saying that any visitation I get should be supervised. I never smoked weed in front of either of my kids. Please let me know the answers to all these questions.. Thank you so much. I can not afford to pay for this advice, I am sorry. Is this free?


Asked on 10/31/10, 8:22 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

He has a very good chance. I generally avoid predicting outcomes on this site, because the information questioners provide is almost invariably insuficient to make any real evalauation, and the information is always subjective and one sided. In this case, however, I see three things that you mention that give him a good chance. 1. You have an out of control 14 year old engaged in criminal behavior in the same house as the 6 year old, and you are unable to deal with it. That is harmful to the 6 year old. 2. You made threats to use your child as a pawn when you were mad at your ex, by depriving the child of his extra curricular activities. The fact that you never did it and were just mad doesn't matter, because it demonstrates a willingness to use the child against the ex. Courts will not tollerate using a child like that. 3. A neutral professional finds your behavior to be irrational and reckless. The fact that you can compare that to his being critical, controlling and belittling to you only underscores how out of touch you are with your behaviour and its consequences. And, "no" the six year old it to young to have a say. The court will decide what is in the best interests of the child, and chances are good that it will be what your ex wants, particularly the supervised visitation.

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Answered on 11/05/10, 10:01 am


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