Legal Question in Family Law in California

Even if you agree to allow your ex to move out of state, you will definitely want to modify the court order. You can do so by something called a stipulation and order, and that way you won't actually need to go to Court to change the orders currently in place. You and your ex will write up the new terms of visitation (custody can stay the same, and I would encourage you to keep joint custody), file it with the court, and both of you will be protected. She is assured that you won't drag her to Court accusing her of kidnapping your son, and you will have defined visitation rights, so you won't be at her mercy for seeing your son. It's very possible to keep the same timeshare if you have him most of the summer, spring break, at least one week of winter break, etc.

One thing I do suggest the two of you discuss is the issue of transportation. Out of state travel is expensive, even if it's just from California to Oregon, plus you might need an additional plane ticket until he can fly unaccompanied. Who will pay for this? You also need to consider who can fly with your son/drive him to the airport (anyone, or does it have to be by agreement), whether driving him is ever appropriate, and other such details. An out of state move is definitely something that needs careful planning and discussion even if you consent to the move itself.

Finally, be creative with regards to visitation. Skype, web cams, and other such uses of technology will allow you to frequently visit with your son even out of state.

Actually she is the one most at risk if you don't modify the order, because she will be in violation of it if you don't see your son as scheduled. Of course you have the problem that she is now out of state with your son. It is fairly simple to file and get an order on a custody and support modification. It really is worth doing in your situation. The hard part is getting agreement on a new plan. If you've done that, writing it up and getting it turned into an order is the easy part.