Legal Question in Family Law in California

If you want to play "hard ball" here and the domestic violence incident was in the last five years, there is a presumption based on the domestic violence that she is not suitable for primary custody. Now playing that card will make things instantly ugly, so be careful. But it is there. Given the circumstances, you probably should just go ahead and be the one to file for divorce. That way you can file motions at the same time for custody, child support and spousal support. You do, in fact, have the same rights (and responsibilities) as a stay at home mom. That would include the same rights to spousal support if your marriage and financial facts call for it. It would also include the same responsibility to go out and try to find work and become self-supporting and get off spousal support. You also have a duty to find work once you are separated and divorced in order to contribute to the support of the children. Divorced parents who don't work and don't look for work eventually are ordered to look for work or their support is cut to what it would be if they were working. Given the disparity in income, you also have a right to ask that she pay attorneys fees for you, though without knowing your full financial picture I can't even begin to guess whether they would be awarded in your favor.

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