Legal Question in Family Law in California
I was seeing a man for a short time and it ended badly. He has been unable to accept that we have no future. He is extremely jealous of the relationship I am now in. The man I am currently with (and engaged to be married to in 2 weeks) and I are expecting a baby in a couple of months. The man I was seeing prior to my fiance has tried numerous times to sabotage my current relationship by contacting my fiance to state I have been unfaithful, posting untrue statements about me online (using my first and last name), etc. Luckily, my fiance and I have a strong relationship and this other man's attempts at breaking us up have failed. However, this other man recently filed a suit against me claiming my unborn child may be his, and he wants paternity, custody, etc. I am completely fed up with his escalating desperate attempts at breaking up my relationship and trying to be a part of my life - at this point he doesn't seem to care if that's in a positive or negative manner. I have a baby on the way and am about to start a marriage, and what is supposed to be the happiest, most exciting time of my life is turning into a stressful, draining ordeal.
Will I be forced to submit to paternity testing even though my fiance and I know exactly when our baby was conceived and that we are the parents? Does this guy have any right to object to paternity? Any Joe Blow off the street can come forward and claim to be my unborn child's father...and I would be forced to entertain those accusations, however bogus they may be? This just doesn't seem right...my child was conceived out of love and to have to subject the legitimacy of that to scrutinizing and question because of someone who can't be happy for us is absolutely heartbreaking.
I just want this individual out of our lives. He has made it clear to the entire world (my family, my fiance's family, our friends, my work, and everyone on the internet) that he is questioning the paternity of this child. I am fortunate to have wonderful, understanding people in my life who are understanding of the situation, but again - it's causing unwarranted stress and taking away from the excitement and joy of getting married and having a child.
The summons I received states I have 30 days to respond to his Petition to Establish Parental Relationship. I'm not sure what to state - can I put that the petitioner is of NO relation to the unborn child, and state the name of my fiance as the father? Even though we're going to be married before the baby is born, if we both signed a Declaration of Voluntary Paternity and submitted it with the response, would that suffice as already having paternity established for this child? I just want this guy to leave me alone, and I want this ridiculous claim of his to be dismissed because it absolutely deserves to be. If he had any good reason to believe he was the father, I wouldn't be fighting this - I would gladly submit to any testing requested. But he has no basis for his claim. If there was any chance the child was his, it would have been born already...or I'd be 10 months pregnant now.
Please help...I don't have the money to pay for an expensive lawyer, and my fiance is a student. I hate having to ask anyone for help with this, my parents are so excited about being first-time grandparents and although they have been made aware of the situation (thanks to the other man), I have assured them that everything will be fine and it's all being taken care of. But I don't even know where to start to do that! I will be going on maternity leave soon and have to be able to make ends meet...I don't know where to go from here.
I also have documentation of this man using my full name online and posting horrible statements about me, inferring he wishes I would die in a wreck, claiming the child is his, then admitting he's been celibate during the time that my child was conceived. Is this something I should provide with my response as well? At this point, I don't want to have to go to court and have this drawn out into a long process...and quite honestly, I'm scared to be within sight of him.
Thank you for any information you can provide, I am grateful for any input and advice as far as what I need to do.
2 Answers from Attorneys
You want someone to tell you that you can get out of this situation without going through the court proceeding. Either it won't happen, or they will be lying to you. If all you say about the timing is true and you have evidence of it, his case will be thrown out, but you can't just ignore it and you can't get out of dealing with it. At a minimum you need to file a response to the petition. The forms you need are available at courtinfo.ca.gov under the pull-down tab at the top that says "Forms" and then select the Family Law - Parentage forms group. I believe the form you need is FL220, but without seeing what he filed I can't promise that is the correct form.
If he is also stalking you and harassing you, you really should get a domestic relations restraining order against him. You should also talk to the police or the district attorney's office. You don't disclose your location, but most count courts and/or bar associations also have clinics or other self-help programs to help people who can't or don't want to hire an attorney deal with these kinds of issues.
I can assist you in two ways. First by helping you respond to the petition properly if a threat of malicious prosecution does not get him to dismiss the petition. Contact me directly.
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