Legal Question in Family Law in California

No, and you need to stop violating it. SHE needs to get it dismissed. YOU need to comply with it until she does. Otherwise if she ever changes her mind, you are in big trouble. The protected party's conduct is never a defense to violation of a TRO.

You can go to the court to have the TRO quashed (cancelled), and your wife's conduct would support your request. It would simplify matters if your wife would stipulate to quashing the restraining order. Then, you can submit papers, describing the stipulation, with each of you signing the stipulation. With everyone agreeing, a court will likely do as you ask.

If there is an urgency, you can request the court's order by "ex parte application." Otherwise, you will file papers for a motion on regular notice, which takes a month or two, depending on the court's schedule.

You can do the paperwork and court appearance yourself, but, if you have an attorney, the process will likely go smoother because there are specific rules to follow about what types of documents to file.

I've never heard of a TRO getting quashed, and there is no legal authority for it. I have, however, seen conduct in family law proceedings where one party has a restraining order against the other party, and then invites them to violate it. The purpose is to obviously gain bargaining power and sympathy from the cour, i.e. to support a claim that the violator is an abusive spouse, which obtains advantages in child custody disputes, and calculation of spousal support.

I strongly suggest that you do not violate the TRO. The courts have a form if she wants to dismiss it, but I would not trust a person who obtained a restraining order where one was not needed.

Roach is simply wrong. A court has the power to quash a TRO. I have done it for clients.