Legal Question in Family Law in California

Until you have a custody order in place you have no legal rights. It's all up to you and your to-be-ex to work out as you see fit. If she won't let you see him, you have to go to court. The courts will never make custody or visitation dependant on payments, but she can get away with that until you have an order in place. You can file for a temporary order granting you custody, or specified visitation if you agree she should have primary custody, or 50/50, or whatever you want to ask for, at the same time you file your petition for dissolution of marriage, but until you get that on file and get into the Family Court Services system, you have no official rights.