Legal Question in Family Law in California
I have been in a relationship with a man for 5+ years, in the state of California. We have lived together in 2 different spaces together; one loft for lease, and one owned property. The housing was bought and paid by my boyfriend. We have been pre-engaged (to become engaged) for about the last 2 years ( 2008) We have lived as a domestic couple.
Last month my boyfriend started to announce to me that he was "short-selling" the condo property. We also told me he wanted to move out of state, and that we would rent an apartment after we sell the condo - and eventually buy a house to live in when we move out of state. We have been discussing this plan for about 3 months now.
[ On my birthday he bought a ring for me. It was to be a "practice" engagement ring. It did not fit me. He told me to go return it and get it sized. He didn't ever give me the receipt. In front of my mother he showed her that ring, and told me it cost a lot of money, even though it didn't look like an expensive ring. I waited a long time for any kind of official proposal other than, "one day I'll buy you a nice ring" ]
Last week, after dinner and drinking wine. We got into an argument that over his snoring. I did not go to bed with him that night. I stayed up and drank more wine. When I did decide to go to sleep, I got into the bed. When I did my boyfriend took my wrist and sprained it. I started to scream in pain. I told him that if he didn't let go I would start to fight back, so I freed my hands enough to scratch his arms. He let go and went to call the police on me. I also called 911 telling them what happened - and how he had sprained my wrist first. The police came and arrested me. I stayed in jail for 7 days on $15,000 bail. No one in my family knew I was in jail. I was set free on day 7, after being issued a temporary restraining order to stay away from my boyfriend. The court also granted him with a move out order ( stating I have to move out of the property ) Where am I to move out to? This has been my home for over 2 years. My boyfriend controlled all the money. I didn't even have any cash or change in my pockets when I was arrested in my pajamas. He has cut off my credit cards that he pays for. He even packed up all my belongings and placed them in a storage space in the week's time I was detained in jail. He will cut off my cellphone that he pays for. Basically I was his "personal assistant", house cleaner, and a girlfriend to this man with promises of being his future wife. ( for 6 years in Oct 2010)
I do not have any of my personal belongings. He keeps calling my mother, after he told her he had me arrested - telling her that he needs to drop off my laptop computer, wallet, and purse. I want to file a restraining order against him to keep him away from me and my mother. I would like someone else to do the transfer of my belongings, and it not be him or my family.
Now my question is : We have been living married. We are in California where there is no Palimony. We aren't even registered as domestic partners. Yet we are going through a divorce in our relationship. It seems that all his moving me out was a pre-planned way to get rid of me- so he could move out of state and sell the house. Where is my girlfriend "alimony"? What rights do I have in this?
I could get charged with domestic battery, I have an up coming hearing. He pressed charges on me, I did the jail time for defending myself. Where is his week of jail?
Can I put a lien on his house for domestic partner abuse, or basically canceling our future plans in such an abrupt/violent manner? I helped stage the condo with furniture - furniture that he would not buy for our relationship while I lived there. He only bought a dresser because the realtors wanted a dresser for my clothes- not because I asked him to organize our home to a livable standard. In a sense I ran the household, and he worked at his great paying job!
What can I say our relationship was about? What rights do I have as a long term girlfriend?
Thank You for reading this long question.
2 Answers from Attorneys
You were not married. California does not recognize what is known as "common law" marriage, and has not since 1872. California only recognizes common law marriages that were validly entered into in the states of Alabama, Colorado, Georgia (if created before 1/1/97), Idaho (if created before 1/1/96), Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only), Ohio (if created before 10/10/91), Oklahoma, Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05), Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, and the District of Columbia.
You don't provide any information as to how title to the property is held, or whether you contributed to the purchase of the property at all, or whether the property is encumbered by a deed of trust. Instead, you spend time venting about a ring and a week in jail. For criminal law advice, I strongly suggest you retain a criminal defense attorney. If you cannot afford one, you should ask the court to appoint one for you. A domestic battery charge is a serious issue.
California does recognize what are known as "Marvin" actions. You can read an intro to the subject here: http://www.kinseylaw.com/clientserv2/famlawservices/marvin/nonmarital.html
You can't put a lien on someone's house, based on the information that you have provided, without first suing him and obtaining a valid judgment.
I suggest you get your personal belongings without violating the restraining order, and moving on with your life.
Actually, not only does California recognize "palimony," it was invented here, in Marvin v. Marvin. Express or implied promises of support in a cohabitation relationship are enforceable. You just don't have rights under the Family Code, but you still have a number of contractual and equitable rights to file a regular lawsuit against him.
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