Legal Question in Family Law in California
I have been in a relationship with a man for the last 8 years. In the first year that we were together, his at the time 4yr old son came to live with us from Colorado to California, where we still reside. His son's mother passed away and he became his only legal guardian. In short, in the last 8yrs, his son and I have bonded and we now also have 2 and 4yr old daughters. My soon to be ex-boyfriend has had serious drug issues over the last couple years. We have attempted to get him help, but its not worked and the problem has only gotten worse over the last year. Its time for me to get our children out of the home. I am concerned about what happens with my son. We have never obtained any kind of documents giving me any sort of parental rights with him. I have always signed as his mother and its never been a problem. But now I am looking at leaving and am scared that with no documentation in place that if it comes down to it, taking him will be illegal. Where do I start? What do i do? What kind of papers need to be filed. I am looking out for the best interest of our children. And I am NOT leaving without him. Further more, the child also received social security money and I would like to have the money transferred from my ex's account to mine. So how do I become the trustee to have it moved? Any help you can offer would be a great starting place, action needs to be taken immediately.
1 Answer from Attorneys
This is a difficult situation. The fact that during a substantial time you have acted as his mother. This will give you a a good chance of obtaining a custody of the son. You should file a paternity suit for the children. I have had cases in which a grandparent wanted to have custody of a child based on the fact that they provided day to day care for the grandchild. You could try listing the son as a child, as the presumed mother. Presumed mother is the female equivalent of the make presumed father. This should work you may have to file a separate petition for the son to establish presumed mother. The fact that father has a drug problem should be beneficial to you. You may also want to consider a domestic violence restraining order, which would include a temporary order giving you custody of all three children.