Legal Question in Family Law in California

1. Congratulations on graduating from college.

2nd. Breathe.

Now, let's separate the issues. Does he have any valid reason to take custody? Can he show that you are a bad mother? They will generally not take your child because (& I'm not saying you did) you committed welfare fraud - that is another issue. Can he show drug use/abuse. Do you put your child in dangerous situations, or neglect her. Do you leave her alone or have a lot of different men around her to have sex. These are the types of things a judge might listen to. It sounds like you are trying to better yourself which will look good in court - should you have to go.

Don't let fear of court rule you. For one, every thing may turn out in your favor and may result in you getting court ordered regular child support based on his income - not what he wants to pay when he feels like. If you know he is not paying you right - you can threaten him back. Many men don't want to go to court -he might be bluffing.

Don't let him take away your power.

There is A LOT of help out there. Almost every court house has FREE family law help. Start at the court house - the clerks office. Or look up your local court on the internet and look for family law or domestic. There may be a clinic wherein you can go and talk to a lawyer. Don't be afraid of court.

As for the welfare fraud - has he been giving you enough for it to matter? Is the money consistent - meaning does he pay you every week. You may not even be obligated to report money given every now and again. Or it may not be enough for it to matter. $50 may not matter, but $500 might. I find it is better to get out from under stuff than let it pop up suddenly and knock me down. Do some research. There may be guidelines posted on the welfare site. Call or go down there and ask them a 'hypothetical situation.' Ask, "what would happen if somebody was getting ______ a month and didn't report it?"

You might just want to go ahead and tell them, and deal with it. If you were wrong - the best thing might be to correct it, get past it, and not let it further run your life. Control your mistakes, don't let your mistakes control you. They might just want you to pay something back. If you take care of it, you take the power from him.

Consider filing for custody/child support anyway. Why keep arguing with someone that is prone to angry fits and threatening you. Based on the little information I know (and not as a lawyer) - if I were you, I think I would handle my business (with the welfare office) and tell him to go ahead and file. He probably won't anyway - but maybe you should.

Yes, to some extent this is blackmail.

Good luck