Legal Question in Family Law in California
I am a single parent to an almost 5 year old. Her Dad has only been out here to see her 3 times. Does not really make contact with her, etc. One of the times he came to visit her, was on my dime, not his. We have nothing in court orders about who is suppose to pay for visits, more or less visitaiton. Currenly I have 98% physical custody, and we have 50/50 legal custody. Only thing about visitation is he needs to give me a 30 day notice prior to his visits and a 3rd party needs to be present due to lack of his absense.
So, with all that being said, I am thinking of going for 100% physical and legal custody of our child. I have no desire to take away his visitation as the child is his as well. But, I still want the 30 day notice. Also, I took the liberty to always get a hold of his Mother to see if she wanted to see her, but also have realized it's not my responsiblity to do that either. More-so, if they want to see her, I think it should be their responsibility because they put forth no effort and I feel like I have always been the one doing so. Hell, up until recently, I was suppose to fly myself and my daughter to VA to see him. That vacation got canceled as soon as I found out he was married, and he was like, you can stay with me and my wife. Ah, I don't play that game... I was even asking if I should be looking for a place to stay, and if he was seeing anyone. Because, he kept on saying, you can stay with me and my roommate...
What are the actual chances of this happening... or am I turning this into a long, drawn out, court battle? Will I end up losing custody of my daughter? My Mom is fearful of that happening, and the judge splitting up custody 50/50. I am really hoping that does not happen, due to his lack of involvement, but right now, that is one thing that worries me. Basically, I want everything that I currently have, but legally. Also, is it too much to ask that if Dad does want a relationship with his daughter, for me to be left out of the equation and for him to purchase a prepaid phone to contact her with?
2 Answers from Attorneys
You have a very convoluted situation here, with far too many levels of complication to address in a free bulletinboard format. Generally we're supposed to reject these kinds of questions as not appropriate for a BBS, but I wanted to respond so you would not be left in the dark. It is not really clear what you want as opposed to what you have in current orders. It is also not clear what in all this complicated situation you want to change that would be changed by switching from joint to sole legal custody. If you read my history of answers, I avoid telling people just to go hire a lawyer whenever possible, especially in family law questions/answers. In your case, however, it really sounds like you need to sit down with someone, rather than trying to get this all sorted out in a bulletin board posting.
It sounds that if there is nothing in court orders concerning who pays for the travel and he has only supervised then his visits must be in California and he must arrange for and pay for the travel. You should have your orders reviewed by an attorney who practices in the county in which you live. Many orders will vary from judge to judge. You will sleep better if you have that consultation and your questions answered. Good Luck, Pat McCrary
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