Legal Question in Family Law in California
I slept with this girl and she said I got her pregnant. I took her word for it and we decided to do an abortion. I payed for it and then she told me that it was done. Then a couple months later, she told me she gave birth. I asked her why she lied to me about the abortion being done and she said because she didnt want to stress me out. So we talked again and we both then decided to give her up for adoption. After a couple of days, she told me that the adoption was done. But a couple of weeks later, she told me she kept the baby. So thats twice she lied to me. Its been a couple of months now since then and I have been giving her money to support the baby because I know I have to. Thinking that baby is really mine. I have probably given her about $1000 already. But I have been thinking about this and I realized I have no proof at all of a baby. I didnt once see her pregnant. I have never even once seen the baby either. I have just been taking her word for it. It made me realize maybe there is no baby and that she has just been lying to me. I mean she has lied to me before. Or maybe somebody else got her pregnant and ran away and she's coming to me for financial support and just telling me that the baby is mine. But again I have never seen her pregnant and I havent once seen the baby. Now she wants me to give her $6000 so that I wont have to be part of their lives anymore. Which made me believe even more that there is no baby. She said I have to give the money quickly or she will sue me. Which I dont want her to do. Because then I'll be in big trouble. Now you know my whole story, my question is do I have the right to get a DNA test? Can she refuse to have it done? Because I want to have that done before giving her $6000. Because that amount is no joke. And also, what if I ask her for a DNA test and she gets mad and sues me. Can she do that as well? Or do I really have the right to a DNA test just in case the baby really isnt mine. Hope to get a response from you guys as soon as possible because I have so little time to give her the money before she sues me. Thank you.
4 Answers from Attorneys
You have 2 years from the birth of the child to contest paternity, you should do so quickly. This woman you described is unstable and HIGHLY manipulative, it will not end well for you. Consult an attorney about having paternity challenged, otherwise you will have 18 years of payments and grief. Good luck.
Unfortunately the best answer probably is call her on it and let her take you to court. Although it would be in court it will not be like being sued in a civil case. First she will have to establish that you are the father. That would be the DNA test you want anyway. Then, if you are the father, the court will allocate custody and child support just as if you two had been married and were getting a divorce. Really it is much more like a divorce with a child, only less complicated because there are no property division issues, who gets the house or apartment, etc. It's not pleasant, but on the other hand if you have never seen her pregnant, never seen a baby, and don't even know if it is yours if there is a baby, you can't just keep giving her money. Even if she is not bluffing and there is a baby, you can probably handle the matter yourself, and if you aren't up for that you certainly can find an number of attorneys who could handle it, myself included, it for less than $6,000.
The good news is that if not established as the father in any proceeding, then you can always file a paternity action (Mr. Tuan is wrong about the 2 years). The bad new is that she can always have the chance to bring you into court up until the child turns 18. I would say that it is better instead that you call her bluff and file yourself to determine paternity. In the same filing you could even try to persuade the court that either you should have custody of the child or at least have court ordered visits. The downside is that you will end up paying support. Best you just do it. Good luck!
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