Legal Question in Family Law in California

Pretty broad question, but I'll give it a shot. You're going to need records, so getting all the records of the "business" of your marriage together is an important step. You're going to have to account for all assets and liabilities of the marriage, any assets and liabilities you want to claim are your or your spouse's separate property or debt, and as good a trail as you can make of any assets or liabilities that may have started as separate (aquired pre-marriage, or significant gifts during the marriage, or inheritances during the marriage) but that have been in any way intermingled or touched by community assets. Classic example is a home bought by one spouse before marriage and they have sole title, but it becomes the marital home and the regular family income paid the mortgage. That makes it mixed. You also will need to account for all sources of income, and have a good idea of your expenses, and make sure you can prove your spouses income and assets too. It's all about the records.

Unless you have kids. Then for their sake, make it all about the kids. When you have kids you don't get very much divorce for your money. The sooner you realize that a divorce with kids involved is NOT ending a relationship, but creating a new one as parents (and perhaps one day grandparents) who are not married to each other, the better your childrens' lives will be. If you have kids, for their sake, start by getting yourself in that mental place, no matter how much you might be angry with or hate your spouse right now. It is essential for your kids that you find a way to make a new relationship with your ex-to-be that is as healthy and conflict free as possible.