Legal Question in Family Law in California

Re: visitation rights

This is a touchy situation. If you prevent him from having visitation, then it could appear that you are interfering with his relationship with his children.

On the other hand, if you don't do anything, you could risk losing your children because of the possibility that he will make good on his threat to leave the country.

Since the temporary restraining order has been denied pending hearing, the judge must not think that you are in much jeopardy at this moment. Also, keep in mind that as soon as the Summons and Petition are filed, both parties are restrained from taking the children out of the country. If he took the children and left, you would go to court and get an order telling the other country that he has to bring them back, assuming that the country he goes to honors the orders of judges from the U.S.

I would caution patience and wait to see what happens at the hearing. You have to be careful because if he is one of those tricky kinds of guys who is controlling, he will try to make it appear that you are not a good mother so that he can get custody. This will happen especially if you request child support. If you make too much noise about not wanting him to have the kids for visits, you could play right into his hands because he'll make it look like (to the judge) that not only are you not a good mother, but that you are preventing him from having a relationship with his kids. The rule is that the parent who is most likely to ensure an ongoing relationship with the noncustodial parent is the parent best suited to have custody.

These situations are very tricky and should be handled by an attorney who has expertise in this kind of thing. If you think your attorney is not aggressive enough, or seems to lack experience with this type of situation, you should find another attorney ASAP. I've seen too many moms lose their kids to the "bad guy" because they didn't play the game right. Sorry, but yes, it's a game when you're up against a dad who has been abusive. (Women are bad too, but in a different way. In fact, in general, women are worse than men, But I'll save that for later. :-D )