Legal Question in Family Law in California

Ok, I will try to be concise and to the point here.

My wife filed for divorce in Feb 2011. I did not take the papers, because I did not want to divorce. Either way it was happening. I guess she had spelled something incorrectly, so she had to amend it. This gave me my 30 days to respond once again. I tried to respond this time, and I was in Houston when I did the paperwork. My courthouse said I was unable to turn the papers in over the internet or through the mail. I HAD to be in person. This kind of put me in a predicament. I opted to have my brother sign my name in order to get the paperwork turned in. They made him chase his tail for about 10 days, and when he was finally able to turn the paperwork in, she had filed for a default. This would all be fine and dandy if I did not care, but I did. I was headed to Iraq to be a private contractor for one year so I could buy a house (for me and my son), to pay off our debt, and to buy a new car. Well, she took my car in the default after getting a car (IN MY NAME ONLY) repo'ed. 6 months into my contract my wages were being garnished for child support. I spoke with her on the phone and she told me I abandon my son, so I decided I needed to come home to fight her in court for my son if she was going to lie.

I went to the court as soon as I got home and I filed for a set-aside, but while waiting for the court date me and her had an altercation. Nothing too serious, but the result of it looked really bad on my part and she used it as best she could to ruin me. When we went in front of the judge he said I had 77 days to respond and I didn't so he threw out my set aside, then he made mention of our incident and said I am lucky my son didn't get hurt and then he went on to give her what she wanted from her response, which was for me to attend anger management. I asked if I could appeal his judgement because I am not an angry person, I am angry at what she is getting away with. Of course, he said no I cannot appeal his judgement.

All I want now is my car out of this situation. She got the car I supplied to her in the divorce repo'ed and THEN had the nerve to take mine because her wages and credit are horrible. Now even when I am making $90000 a year I can't get a $12000 car loan because of her. I am having a very hard time getting a car or anything because of the repo on my credit report. The car was 100% hers, but just in my name.

So, is there a way for me to fight for that car? Small claims, another set aside, something else?

I would greatly appreciate any help. If I need to I can pay for personal consultation.

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