Legal Question in Family Law in California
Every year, my ex-husband files an OSC to request a reduction in child support. Our last hearing, the judge noticed a discrepency in support and as a result of an adjustment, the support changed in my favor by $200/month. My ex-husband has now, for the first time, requested an increase in child share, obviously to swing the support back to a lower amount. The FCS mediator said that she will not recommend more time for him with our children if he plans to have his then girlfriend babysit them, that they should be with the parent they are visiting, not a full time sitter. She did recommend a generous increase for him regardless and did not mention the right of first refusal in her report. I understand I can request that and will most likely have that awarded.
We are getting ready for court next month and he is proposing even more time for himself in addition to what the FCS mediator recommended. I want to request in my declaration that the courts look at the reasoning for his requesting additional time and that it's in our children's best interest to be with me full time during the summer/Christmas breaks and not cared for by his new wife while he works full time. I work from home. Do you have an opinion and/or experience as to how the courts look at this? As the right of first refusal was explained to me, if he had to have someone watch our children, he had to give me the first option to do so and provide transportation back and forth. Is this true even for a step mother? At the time this was explained to me, they were living together but have since married so I'm not sure if the courts will see it differently. Is stability during school breaks better than switching back and forth each week while being cared for by a step mother? Both of our children are on the autism spectrum, as is the father, and stability is vital in this case.
Can I just offer the courts to give him back his $200/month so he stops trying to manipulate the visitation to make up the difference? It's obvious he has no real interest in spending more time with them. He has been awarded two weeks per year vacation time and has never accessed this time or even one extra minute of time with them. I believe because he has gotten his "financial credit" for this time, therefore has no need to actually be with his children.
Thank you for your help.
1 Answer from Attorneys
You have described a situation that would be best resolved through a serious mediation process. You need not only a support order revision but also a parenting plan if that has not already been developed. Most courts are pretty familiar with the tricks that non-custodial . and custodial parents try to play on one another. If you feel that a give-back is a solution to the present issue, you may be justified in taking the path of less resistance. On the other hand, you may want to start holding your childrens' father to his parental obligations, as in scheduling vacations for yourself or one-on-one time with various ones of the children and you and their father as part of their development.
My strong recommendation is counseling and mediation rather than a court fight.
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