Legal Question in Family Law in Colorado

Your first priority should be to obtain a civil protection order (restraining order) to help protect you and your son physically from your abusive boyfriend.

Regarding relocating to New York, there is an article on our website regarding Colorado requirements for a parent to move out-of-state with a minor child: http://www.kaypllc.com/family-law-101/child-custody/relocation-minor-children/

I agree that your first priority is to be sure you and your son are safe. Obtaining a civil protection order is definitely a good idea. This will protect you after he is out, and into the future.

Since there are no prior orders regarding the custody of your son, by law either of you is equally entitled to have him with you. This means that, right now, with no motions for parenting time (custody) having been filed with the court, you can take your son and move to NY and it will not be held against you. However, you also need to understand that for the next 6 months, Colorado has jurisdiction over your son, so your ex could get out of his therapy and file here, and force you to litigate the matter here, even if you're living in NY with your son by then. You will want to confirm with a NY attorney that NY follows the Uniform Child Custody Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), as it is under that provision that the 6 months applies.

Your ex's in-patient treatment and the fact that he tried to commit suicide definitely give you an advantage in this upcoming battle. However, it does not give you a 'hole in one'. Unless your ex's parental rights are terminated, he will always have some rights (and therefore the potential to go back to court in the future and get things changed). When the court finds that a parent has been abusive and poses a risk of harm to the child, the solution usually involves giving the other parent sole decision-making and requiring the abusive parent to have only professionally supervised parenting time, or sometimes even no parenting time until the abusive parent is able to convince the Judge that he's emotionally stable again. The Judge is going to be considering that it is generally best for children to have both parents in their lives, but it is also imperative that they be kept safe. Professionally supervised parenting time is one method of accomplishing this, since the child still gets to see the parent, but they are not on that parent's turf and there is someone there with the training, skills, and authority to remove the parent from the child's presence if the parent does or even says something harmful. The court can tailor the parenting order around the civil protection order, so that both are accomplished.

The name change issue is tougher; it requires the consent of both parents to change a minor's name. There are very few instances where the court is willing to change a minor's name without both parents' consent, and I'm not hearing anything like that described in your question. Once your son is no longer a minor, he is free to change his name if he wishes.

Child support is also an issue that should be addressed. Child support is actually the child's right, and it shouldn't be ignored for the convenience of the parents. He can be ordered to pay through the Family Support Registry, and therefore not have any contact with you, or even know which bank you use.

Don't rely on the answers here for your only research on your options in this situation. A proper consultation with an attorney is far better. Here, we attorneys are constrained by the facts you included in your question. Neither you nor we can (or should here) go into the level of detail to actually advise you on what to do. We can provide general information to general questions. We do offer a free initial consultation in my office, as do many other attorneys. Find one and take advantage of it so you can get specific advice.