Legal Question in Family Law in Connecticut

Who is more likely to get custody? My husband wants a divorce & sole custody. Married 10 years, 2 kids: 7 and 8 years old.

1 1/2 yrs ago: I started to abuse alcohol & began drinking in secret at home at night when my husband and kids were in bed. 4 months later I told my husband & got help with a Dr & a therapist. My husband, and friends told me I had abused alcohol & was not an alcoholic. Of course I wanted to believe that.

Over the past year we have both attended social events where alcohol was served & both drank & he had no issues with that. But I realized on my own 2 months ago that I am an alcoholic and have started going to AA and a therapist. I was never court ordered to go to AA, never drove drunk, never missed work.

1 month ago, my husband had an affair & after I found out he tried to commit suicide. He was commited to the psch ward for 2 days.

When he got out of the hospital he said he was divorcing me and was very angry but said he would agree to joint custody and the kids would live with me. He has since changed his mind and wants sole custody, as well as our house. He says he will give me lots of visitation with the kids. He says he no longer trusts me to be a good parent b/c of my drinking.

I recognize that my drinking was a huge mistake and I am working the AA program, reading literature, staying under the care of my doctor and seeing a therapist. I have offered to take random breathalizers, blood or urine tests or any other reasonable request he has to prove that I am sober and will remain sober for the rest of my life.

We both have stable jobs, have never had legal or financial problems. The kids are happy, healthy, well adjusted (despite having 2 parents who made big mistakes) and have no idea he wants a divorce. They don't know anything about the drinking nor did I tell them he was in the hospital. I just said he had a business trip and they believed that.

Despite what we've both done we've both been good parents and have never argued in front of the kids. I am the primary caregiver w/ making meals, helping w/ school work, dr appts, etc. But he is also involved with them and very loving. If it were up to me we'd go to counseling and work on saving marriage, but he doesn't want to. So I need advice on how a court will rule on what's best for kids.


Asked on 11/20/09, 9:39 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Linda Subbloie Linda A. Subbloie, Esq.

It's very difficult for me to give you an opinion as to what a court would do in this situation because, even though you have tried to give a lot of facts and a thorough explanation, this is still a website.

Assuming his psychiatric issues are under control and a therapist or psychiatrist would agree that he could parent the children without a problem and you believe that as well, and you continue on the path you are on regarding the alcohol, then, based upon the limited facts as you have stated, I don't see why you both couldn't have joint custody of your children.

Remember, there are thousands and thousands of parents out there who have issues that go beyond just not being perfect, but they are not issues severe enough to take away custody.

It's always best to talk personally to a lawyer to get advice.

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Answered on 11/26/09, 9:34 pm


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