Legal Question in Family Law in Connecticut

My girlfriend and I have recently relocated to be closer to my daughter. My drive home from work is longer now because of this.

Last Friday night my ex wife brought my daughter over to spend the weekend with my girlfriend and I. I had not gotten home yet but my girlfriend was home. My ex refused to leave my daughter with my girlfriend stating that she's not family (right in front of my daughter). She insisted on staying at our apartment until I got home.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years, she's known my daughter for a year. She is one of my daughter's caretakers when my daughter is with me, she is completely capable (and frequently does) watch my daughter by herself. My girlfriend also frequently comes with me to bring my daughter back so she's not unknown to my ex.

Is there anything that can be done legally? My ex should be able to leave my daughter with my girlfriend if I'm not home at the time, she's just being difficult and childish. Also I know there is language in the divorce decree about each parent not disparaging the other in front of the child. Does that language extend in this situation? I know my girlfriend has become family to my daughter, I'm concerned about her being confused by her mother's words.


Asked on 10/16/11, 1:45 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
John Heffernan Heffernan Legal Group, LLP

As to the disparaging, merely saying she's "not family" isn't disparaging to the girlfriend, let alone to you, and it's you she can't disparage, not the girlfriend.

As for your not being there, most of the time parents move on with their lives and come to accept the new relationships, but not always. Frankly, most judges will side with the Mom and say that your parenting time is just that: YOUR parenting time. When the child is to be at your house, you should be there. Now, judges aren't stupid. They realize that parents have to be flexible and sometimes you may get home a half hour late, and unless the girlfriend is somehow incapable of caring for the child Mom is going to have to be understanding. Don't think, though, that a judge is going to approve of a situation where you routinely have the girlfriend be the caretaker. That's your job. If you're not going to be there, Mom doesn't have to drop the child off.

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Answered on 10/17/11, 6:14 am


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