Legal Question in Family Law in Connecticut

This is a typical "control freak" tactic. Unfortunately, the courts don't deal well with these situations. You'll have to file a contempt motion, have him served by a marshal and when you get to a hearing, have the judge tell him that confirmation that you work full time and the day care receipts are all he gets. A lawyer will charge you money to do this (which is part of his tactic), but you can probably do this on your own. You can get the form and a little bit of direction at the courthouse.

Why can't he just call the day care provider each week for the schedule?

I agree with Attorney Heffernan. I would like to add that if you hire an attorney to file your motion for contempt, the attorney will also put in a claim for attorney's fees that your husband may have to pay if he loses, in addition to any sanctions by the judge. If you use the form and do it yourself, there are self help manuals and information on the court website. jud.ct.gov

Under the law in Connecticut, child visitation is a seperate issue from child support, alimony or paying for child care services. That means that even if someone prevented visitation, the other party cannot stop paying alimony, childcare expenses or violate other court orders. He would have to file a motion for contempt regarding visitation or a Motion to Modify visitation and take you to court. That is why you want to be flexible and try to work on a solution with him or through the court for visitation. You do not want to be wilfully in contempt. He will be in contempt if he violates the court order to pay after you have sent him the bills and done your part and you can prove that he violated the court order "wilfully". It is well settled in Connecticut family law courts that you may not resort to "self-help". "Self-help" is what your ex-husband is doing, instead of paying what he owes for childcare and taking the issue to court by filing a Motion for Contempt or motion to modify visitation against you. As far as your motion for contempt, one of the elements must be that it is "wilful". I would suggest that you send him a letter, with proof that you sent it and he received it, maybe by certified mail, explaining that he may not resort to self help and violate the court orders for support or for child care expenses to retaliate for a child visitation issue. I would send him a letter explaining the law to him and that if you have to file a motion for contempt, he will lose and end up having to pay your attorneys fees for prosecutiong that motion as well as any sanctions that the judge imposes for the contempt. Attorney's fees are a way to fight against his tactic of making you file a motion for contempt. I would also mention in the letter your concerns and that you would like to negotiate with him on visitation, so that he knows when he is going to have visitation time, while you can also have your privacy and control of your life. Sometimes the court can help you with mediation and with ideas on how the two of you can achieve a balance as far as your visitation issue. If you call the court clerk and ask for the "family law" clerk they are very knowledgable and can give you information on how to find the info that you need.

The court staff cannot respresent you or provide legal advise, but they can provide you with a wealth of information.( If you look on the right hand side of the judicial website, you will see a link for "forms", scroll down the forms and when you get to the family law forms they have the family law contempt form "Motion for Contempt/Contempt Citation (JD-FM-173)" grouped in there and above the forms they have a link how to file a motion for contempt.)

Hopefully he will reconsider after your letter but if he is stubborn you may have to proceed with the motion for contempt. If you get an Attorney, sometimes the Attorney can send him a letter explaining the law to try to get him to comply but again if he is stubborn the attorney may have to file the contempt motion. hope this helps.

Christopher Overton Esq.