Legal Question in Family Law in Connecticut
My husband moved out on me and my 2 boy's, there has been a lot of cheating on his part, he also has a drinking problem, we have been married 12 years, he wants a mediator instead of an atty. but he is very sneaky, he took a lot of things out of our home when i was at work, didn't tell me before, he hides $, has a side window business makes $ under the table, pays current girlfriends rent 2 miles away from me and the kid's, i have text's(saved) from yet another lady friend (that he works with)who is getting angry that she is being ignored by him, these low -class women think they have some kind of rights! he puts our boy's 's needs last, makes me beg for $, now i am getting notices from bank on mortgage, bills are not getting paid, he has all bills going to a p.o.box, i was suprised this certified letter came through the mail to me, he said he will keep me in our home as long as i do mediation and DO NOT touch his pension when he retires in 6 years from the military, i will not agree to that.If anything my boy's deserve it, i am tired of him putting them last. Will a mediator protect my rights? and let me change an agreement in the future? i heard an atty. talking about mediation in MA. on a radio station, that you should get an atty. to review an agreement made by a mediator, so what really is the point then?My husband also says if i get an atty. we will be forced to sell the house, that isn't the case is it?Would it be wise to let his CO in the CT. Guard know what he is doing? he has kind of a high position at his armory in Waterbury. This other girlfriend who is calling me is a civilian contractor in the military, and i do not want my kid's around these kind of people. Julie-Enfield
1 Answer from Attorneys
First of all, your husband could be court martialed if the military substantiates his adultery. This is a very serious charge for a member of the military. I also would not report him to the military without getting the advice of an attorney because he could lose his job and you don't want that to happen. However, I wouldn't let him bully you. You are sitting in the driver's seat, he's not.
You need an attorney to represent you whether you decide to go to a mediator or not. Only an attorney who represents you will protect your rights. A mediator will NOT.
You are most likely entitled to one-half of the pension he accumulated during the marriage and the fact that you are married atleast 10 years, gives you that right under federal law concerning military pensions.
Just because you get an attorney does not mean you have to sell your house. The two are unrelated.
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