Legal Question in Family Law in Florida

State of Florida - 12th Circuit Court, Sarasota

Background:

I share custody of my 8-year old daughter with her dad. After 6 years iof being primary, legal custodial parent, he sued me for joint custody and he got it. I went Pro Se and he was/is represented by the best family law attorney in town. She was assigned the responsibility to submit findings and recommendations to judge. After two months, she finally did, added several items that were never even addressed at the hearing and the court signed off on it and approved his parenting plan. Well, the FJ contradicts itself in several places and some areas are left blank. I have tried for almost two years to get them to provide a draft filling in the empty spaces and providing clarification on the contradictions. Letters from me and my old attorney asking for mediation all go unanswered and his attorney has not even responded to the last request from my attorney to schedule mediation that was sent to her in November 2011. Since then, they pick and choose whatever holiday schedule they want as the summary page contradicts the detailed holiday visitation schedule.

He and his wife are very bitter and were granted their request that we can only communicate via email and most times they go unanswered regarding doctor appointments, school issues, etc. He refuses to look, speak or be in the same room as me. After the custody situation changed, my daughter was having a very difficult time in school and was at the Tier 3 Level Of Intervention. Again, my ex did not go to the parent meetings with the school through this entire process. He never even came to hospital when my daughter was brought via ambulance after her finger was partially amputated at school, nor attended any specialist appointments to determine if surgery was necessary.

After several recommendations from her pediatrician for her to obtain therapy and be evaluated by a psychiatrist, her father refused to allow it. She actually called a psychiatrist herself and made an appointment and wrote letter. She said if he objects, that I call my attorney and have her subpoenaed. Well, he did object and the pediatrician called an emergency meeting with the two of us. He declined, saying he was busy, but showed up at her office an hour later demanding all her medical records. We then received a certified letter from her stating she can no longer be my daughter's doctor, as she has given her medical recommendations and they were being blocked.

I was given the right to phone time with my daughter between 630 abd 700 pm whenever she is in their care. Well over a year ago, they stopped answering the phone and then emailed me and said they will not be letting her have that communication anymore and said they were bringing her to their attorney's office so she could tell the attorney she didn't want to talk to me. When I asked her why she didn't, she said it was because she was always crying that she missed me and when she did, they put her in the crying room.

Needless to say, not only is he uncooperative, but goes out of his way to make my life more difficult.

Current Situation: His custodial time is from Monday to Thursday. I received an email from his wife late Monday morning on April 8th informing me that there was an emergency in Ireland (that's where he's from and all his family, including 3 grown sons live) and that he had taken a flight out to Ireland early that morning and wasn't exactly sure when he'd be back, but probably in 10 days. As I thought someone in he family was very ill or passed away, I agreed to keeping her but asked that I be kept informed of his return date. As of today, he has not communicated with me once to inform me of his return date p. nor has stated what the "emergency" was. I kept checking Facebook and Ll his family members continue to post their usual happy, funny stories. His sister was even on vacation at that time. Clearly this emergency was not about an ailing or deceased family member.

I had surgery scheduled for this past Monday with an anticipated 3-day recovery period. It was scheduled then as I normally don't have her and could recuperate properly. I have had to pay people to watch her, take her to school, pick her up, as well as not getting in the proper recuperating time I needed. I had to sub contract out some work as I don't get paid sick time. My boss is unhappy and now it looks like I may have some complications. If not better by Monday, he wants me to come back in.

Well, this has two problems with it:

1. I am scheduled for an all day client meeting about three hours away and if he is not back, I will need to find, and pay, someone to get her from school and watch her until I'm back late that evening.

2. If I am not better and need to return to surgeon, not only will I have to cancel this very important client meeting, but may need some additional medical procedure that will require me to be back on pain medication and again, need to hire people to care for my daughter.

As I cannot afford an attorney, I was wondering what recourse I have and how I should handle this. I have held off emailing him until I have some legal advise on the situation. My specific questions are:

1. What constitutes an emergency that would allow a parent to leave the country prior to even informing the other parent and not even stating a return date? I would think even if there was a death in the family that he would need to inform me prior to getting on plane and providing a return date. It doesn't seem to make sense that even a bereavement leave can be allowed for this long and with no communication on a return date. Isn't it his responsibility to find alternate care?

2. Do I have a legal right to ask for written documentation of what exactly the emergency was?

3. Can I be awarded reimbursement for all the expenses I incurred as a result of this or ask for a flat daily amount for being caregiver during his custodial time?

4. If entitled and need to take this to court (Pro Se), what motions would I need to file? Abandonment? Contempt of court? Request for reimbursement? If so, is it going to be a long shot without an attorney or do I have a good enough case?

5. As his normal custodial time starts back up on Monday, should I send him an email today? What should it say? I need to have a backup plan for child care, as I will either be on my business trip or back at the surgeon's office. What if he does not respond to my email? Remember, I am only allowed to communicate via email. The few times I've texted or dialed his number by accident, they send me an email, copying their attorney, that I am in Contempt of Court.

I thank you for any advise you can provide

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