Legal Question in Family Law in Georgia
Background: I'm a stepmom, married 3.5 years to a pastor/custodial father of one son(16). No biokids for us. Here's the deal: My husband (DH) still carries life insurance on his deadbeat ex-wife. EW was/is supposed to pay child support to DH. She used to but stopped several years ago. DH let her off the hook by writing a letter to CS enforcement, telling them that he was OK with her not paying. Essentially he gave her a GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card, as that's exactly where she was about to be sent! At this point, her unpaid CS probably exceeds $35K. Anytime I would ask about it - early in our relationship - he would always say "I don't need it." Yeah right.
Anyway, DH insisted on maintaining a life ins. policy on his ex. My question to him (when we were still dating) was this: "Why would you carry life insurance on a woman who is not doing her part while she's alive? Life insurance is designed to replace income. She is providing you none of that. You've already said you don't 'need it.' So why continue paying premiums on a policy on her?" I let him know exactly how I perceived the whole thing: "You've got too much pride to require her to help while she's alive, yet you want to maintain the right to benefit if she dies."
The whole scenario is ultra hypocritical to me. Either you need financial help raising your son or you don't. Carrying life insurance proves that you need it, so why would you not require EW to do her part while she's alive? Of course that's when SS was spending the bulk of his time in our home. For the last 7 months or so, he's actually been spent more time with his mom. DH still calls the shots where it concerns visitation because he has that legal right. But because SS had been asking to spend more time w/BM, DH allowed him to do so. So the insurance is all the more unnecessary as SS is with BM about 70% of the time now.
I don't know why the insurance has started to annoy me again, when I had pretty much washed my hands of the whole situation. Probably just the fact that so many other issues are cropping up in our marriage and blended family, and this one just fans the flames. (Note: I should add that DH's mother tried to sneak around behind my back and take out a life policy on DH...he didn't like the idea, told his mom as much, but he STILL agreed to it...until I learned of it and blew a fuse and let him know that it was sooooo unnecessary. He pays NONE of MIL's bills, so it was totally unnecessary. She is NOT the kind of woman that would make sure DH's bills were paid or that me and SS were cared for. She'd just be trying to cash in on DH's death! UGH!!! I shared that to say that to say that it probably shouldn't surprise me that DH also espouses this "lottery" mentality about life insurance.)
In the final analysis, it makes me feel like I'm not DH's one and only. It feels too much like he has "another woman" in that he insures someone else. Am I overreacting or is it a bit strange to carry life insurance on someone who provides you no financial support whatsoever? Please advise...
1 Answer from Attorneys
You have two choices. You decide to live with it (and stop talking about it, as it is not your legal concern) or you get divorced over it. It's his decision, and it is not something you get a say in unless he wants you to have a say. You have not asked a legal question. You have asked a question that you may want to ask a marriage counselor.
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