Legal Question in Construction Law in Illinois

Re: just talking

If you are asking me this question, you must have a feeling that there's something not quite right. I mean, your mom already said it's okay, but you still have questions. That feeling is called intuition, and your intuition is telling you something very important. Good job! Listen to that little voice that made you ask this question!

I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I have to say that this relationship is a bad idea for both of you. What you wrote says two things. First you say you will "just be friends," but then you immediately say that your mom says it's okay for you to "date." Those aren't the same thing, and you need to take a very close look at what you are doing, and be able to talk about it openly with yourself and with other people about it. You need to not have any big secrets, and that means not doing things that create big secrets. This isn't an area where there's a lot of room for mistakes. And that's why it's a bad idea.

If it truly is "just talking," then there's no law against that. The problem is that, if it's the dating relationship your mom said was okay, the behavior tends to move forward along more physical lines. Since you are now 14, you and he would have to not do anything physical for four years. That's a really long time, and it would be very difficult.

The other thing that makes this situation difficult is the difference in your ages. I know this is going to be really difficult to hear, but since you are asking for advice, I hope you'll think about it. When people are dating, no matter what their age is, they make a lot of mistakes. Relationships are very difficult, and people need to have a lot of room to try different ways of interacting. If you had a boyfriend who was closer in age, it would be easier for both of you to be safe when somebody makes a mistake. But since your ages are so different (14 and 23), there are huge legal consequences to making certain kinds of mistakes. That isn't a safe place for you, or your boyfriend, and also not for your mom (and dad, and the rest of your family) who can be held legally responsible for what happens to you right now. One small mistake could turn into a huge problem for everyone, a really bad, permanent life-changing problem.

If your mom said it's okay for you and this guy to date, she's not doing a very good job of protecting you from these problems. That's really sad for me to hear, because teenagers really need someone who can make good judgments, and allow things that truly are okay. But a parent in that situation should be able to see these problems coming, and explain things like this to you as I am. It's really too bad that your mom let you down like this, by forcing you to find these answers on your own. I really hope that you'll take my advice and let this relationship fall away. Good luck.