Legal Question in Family Law in Illinois
I have a beautiful girl with a woman that I did not fully know before the baby was conceived. We stayed together for 3 months after the baby was born. I was there for everything! Every doctor visit up to 3 months, the birth, and cutting of the ribbon(if you know what I mean). When she moved out she no longer let me see my daughter. It was only at her convenience and eventually got to the point where she wanted my visits to be supervised. I have NEVER done anything wrong. I would never hurt my daughter or put her around ANYTHING that would hurt her. I have no record. I have my own house and she has her own bedroom there. I have a good job and my degree. I am an average person. I could not take the lack of visitation so I took her to court. I hired a lawyer and he filed a petition. 30 days later her laywer filed their answer. My lawyer wanted to start by talking back and forth with her lawyer. Which got me no where but a high attorney bill. Her lawyer eventually filed something that got a court date set. At this conference hearing, which was our first time in court, the judge demanded us to come up with a temporary visition order. All I want is what I deserve and my daughter deserves and that's shared custody. The mother wants me to have her one day a week and every other weekend. I'm sorry, but I grew up with limited contact with my father and refuse for my daughter to do the same. Needless to say we did not agree to anything so the judge ordered one overnight during the week and every saturday 9am to 6pm. My daughter was 7 months old then. After the judge ordered that he clearly stated "you guys would save alot of money by coming to an agreement because this is all I am going to order". How can a judge make this statement on the first time he has heard this case?! How is that fair? That immediately made me feel like I was against the odds. The mother repeats this quote to me often. From that day on reality has sunk in. I don't know what I am to do now. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. A battle that I cannot win. Since the temporary visitation it has been 5 months. The last two months I have had my daughter literally equal time to the mother. I have had my daughter every weekend during the last two months. The mother works overnight 3 days a week. So, basically I am keeping my daughter a third of the time overnight, the mother is doing a third and her mother, the grandmother, is doing a third overnight. I have been paying $400/month for the last 5 months and have been buying my own goods for my daughter at my house. I hired a new attorney a week ago and we had a conference hearing yesterday. My lawyer wants to do a trial, but says the judge will want the discovery process completed before assigning a trial date. Our next conference hearing is March 2nd. And from my understanding, discovery should be completed and we will get a trial date. Is this how a custody case goes? Should my lawyer have said something to the judge yesterday about all the time I have had my daughter? Should my laywer have said something to the judge about me paying for the last 4 or 5 months? Should I just give up? I understand that the best interest of my daughter is the most important, but how does a court determine its in the best interest of my daughter to spend a majority of her time with her mother and a fraction of her time with her father? I am discouraged by this process and feel taken advantage of. I almost feel like it is a skeem or a con for people to make money. This process should never drive a family into debt. I appreaciate whomever taking the time to read this. I apologize if it's a little confusing. So much has happened and it's hard to point out everything. Again thank you for your time. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreaciated and if anyone wants to sue the state of illinois and this judge for violating my rights, I am all for it!
1 Answer from Attorneys
Only people who can work together can have shared custody. As you two can not work together, that would seem highly unlikely. So if one person gets custody, the "normal" visitation is one night per week and alternate weekends.
Your choice is to fight for custody or learn to create as healthy a relationship with your child in that short time. You are not the first and will not be the last. Only people who can work together can provide more time.
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