Legal Question in Family Law in Illinois
I have been dating a divorced father of 2, (ages 4 and 5) and we are getting serious to the point of moving in together. His ex-wife refuses to let me meet the children untill we have been together atleast a year, and are engaged. Me and him both agree I should meet them with plenty of time before I move in so that the children and I can get to know each other instead of just springing it on them that someone they don't know is now moving in. She said that if I meet the children she will have an injuntion put on him to refuse visitation, (they have joint custody) and he will only have supervised visits. I have no history of drug or alcohol abuse but insists I take drug tests before meeting them. She insists we are being immature and stupid for wanted to be together and start our own family including theirs, but on her end, she introduced her boyfriend to the children after 4 months of dating, and 4 months after the divorce was final, with out the fathers permission because they "are in love and it is real". It was also ok for him to meet the kids because he has a kid, where as I don't have my own child. (complete double standard) But my question is legaly can she take away his visitation and rights if me and him continue pursuing our relationship? If I move into his home? With out her permission? Also he wants to take her to court for full custody, will this situation negitivley affect the outcome? Should I stay away untill after the new ruling? Me and him have tossed around the idea of Eloping to show we are serious and we will provide a stable home life for the children, will this help or hurt? The mother is also clinicly diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, and constantly not taking her meds. Their divorce and custody agreement has been settled for over a year now, and she refuses to let him move on with his life, and is constantly "needing more money for the kids." He pays her $800/mo child support and still pays her morgage, because the house is in his name. Please advise any advise before we start looking for custody attorney's. Thanks!
2 Answers from Attorneys
Wow, that's quite a bit of information. It sounds as if the person who needs legal advice is your boyfriend. However, that being said, since his custody judgment entered only one year ago it cannot be changed for two years unless either he, or his ex-wife, pleads and proves serious child endangerment. That is the standard in Illinois. Also, an order is an order. Neither your boyfriend, or his ex, can change the terms on their own. Only a judge can do that. So, if the ex is insisting on conditions that do not appear in the judgment, your boyfriend should consult with an attorney and possibly consider proceeding in court to enforce the terms of the judgment as written. He may also consider other legal options, such as modification. Aside from all the negativity, good luck to you and your new relationship. I hope you are very happy together and somehow manage to move beyond these difficulties.
Under Illinois law, modifying visitation is radically different than modifying custody. 750 ILCS 5/610 addresses the strict requirements one must meet in order to modify custody. 750 ILCS 5/607 covers visitation, and subsection "c" deals solely with modifications. There' are two different types of visitation modifications, each with a different criteria one must meet.
Can the ex move for a restriction? Always. Will she be successful? Depends on how well discovery goes, along with any possible pretrials. Hearings are generally a formality, as the judges in Cook County try to avoid it for docket purposes.
As far as modifying custody, it's generally a tall order - and I'd recommend at least talking to a family law attorney in your area for specific guidance.
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