Legal Question in Family Law in Indiana

living with someone before finalization or after finalization of divorce

I have been in a relationship with a man for quite some time now and his divorce is not yet final.We are hoping it will be final w/in the next few weeks.Our relationship is one where we are talking about marriage, but would like to live together for a short time first.the soon to be exwife, says she can take us to court for cohabitation and make sure i am not able to spend the night there when my future husband has his son.She did this with her 1st husband.What options do we have, and can she actually be allowed legally to dictate our relationship?


Asked on 4/15/04, 1:38 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Mary Ann Wunder Wunder & Wunder

Re: living with someone before finalization or after finalization of divorce

There are many schools of thought as to what is a proper adult relationship for a child to be exposed to. If a parent objects to the other parent's relationship with a new partner, he or she has to prove that it would be emotionally detrimental to the child. It seems to be relatively easy for a judge to back up the custodial parent complaining about the noncustodial parent residing with a new partner and having the child for visitation - as it might give the child the idea that this is the way it ought to be and that people do not have to be married. Unfortunately, this is more of a quasi-legal-quasi-moral question. Most judges will back up the complaining parent while the parties are still married, but not so much thereafter - and never when the complaining parent is doing exactly what he or she is complaining about. There is no really happy choice for anyone in this situation. I think the best way to look at the situation before getting entangled or into a big argument is to honestly look at how you would feel as a child whose parents are divorced and one or both parents have new relationships. After that consideration, think about adult jealousies - jealousy about a former partner's new partner; jealousy about potential loss of a child's respect or love; unhappiness that someone else moved on with his life while you are in an emotional quagmire. No easy answers.

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Answered on 4/15/04, 3:44 pm


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