Legal Question in Family Law in Iowa

I have 2 children with 2 different fathers.

My son's father does not work. He is behind in child support. He has not seen my son in 2 years. He lives with his girlfriend who is on state aid and he watches her daughter while she works. He also has 2 other children with 2 other women. He has a history of domestic abuse on me & one of his other children's mothers. My son is 3.

My daughter's father did not even see a picture of her for the first 3.5 years of her life. He does pay child support. He lives in Wisconsin, I live in Iowa. When she was 3.5 he decided he wanted to have a relationship with her. I did not fight this at all. I was as resonable as possible with him but we do not get along. She is 5 and does not want to go with him because she says he's mean to her. He quit taking her after about 15 visits & hasn't seen her in 7 months now. He has a house and a truck and another son who he also pays child support for. He sees his son regularily.

I work 3rd shift full time. I have moved around a little bit. I rent a house. I make good money and I am not on any state aid. My job doesn't allow me to be home as much as I would like to. There is no court orders about custody on either of my children. The worst thing on my record is an OWI from 2 years ago. I worry about what will happen to my children if something happens to me. If I would have any say in them staying together & not going with their fathers who know nothing about them.

I also worry about the father's taking me to court for visitation or custody. I worry about not looking very good because I work so much and have moved around. I have dated a little bit but I'm finally in a stable, decent relationship.

I'm wondering if it looks better in the situation I am in now or if it would look better to be a stay at home mom & be on a little bit of state aid? Any advice is appreciated.

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