Legal Question in Family Law in Iowa

Re: Who has legal rights to the child, after split up

Florida Law - If you are seeking custody of your daughter I suggest that you file an action for custody as soon as possible. The longer the delay the worse it could be for you. If you are not seeking custody but want visitation I suggest that you have an agreement drawn which is approved by both you and your ex and signed by each. You will have to file your action in the county where your daughter now resides. If you are looking for an attorney there I suggest calling the Bar of that State for a referral in that area.

Re: Who has legal rights to the child, after split up

My state law might differ from yours, so talk with an attorney.

With that warning foremost in your mind, here's a brief answer.

Who a child should live with depends on half a dozen or so factors in my state. Primary care giver is one of the factors. Because your daughter has been living primarily with mom, mom is the primary care giver. Children develop "attachment bonds" with their primary care givers. The professionals I've heard talk about this topic warn that switching residential parents can cause the child to fail to attach to the new care giver, which can (not always does, but can) lead to attachment disorder, inability to develop a conscience, inability to develop empathy for fellow humans, worst case is that it can lead to criminal behavior. That's the far end of the spectrum, and I'm not telling you that your daughter is headed for prison if she lives with you. However, an abrupt switch is probably not in her best interest. In Montana, either parent can petition the court to adopt a parenting plan. Unless you are unfit (or your girlfriend is somehow detrimental to the child's mental, physical, or emotional well being), mom doesn't have a right to "take" the child away from you. The ideal course of action is for the parents to sit down and talk about establishing a parenting plan (use a mediator if you can't work things out by yourselves). The parenting plan should include when you have parenting time, who picks up and delivers the child, etc. If mom won't negotiate with you, petition the court to adopt your proposed parenting plan. The plan will protect both parents' time with the child and, most important, will guarantee that the child has frequent and continuing contact with both her parents. An attorney experienced in custody issues is worth the expense.